Review: Machete

In a year where big screen heroes have been in short supply, it looks like director Robert Rodriguez has saved the best for last. And so the long overdue adventures of one pissed off Mexican called Machete finally hits the screens, with Danny Trejo front and centre swinging his many blades with the type of precision normally reserved for surgeons.

Machete tells the bloody tale of former Mexican Federale Machete and his quest for revenge after being framed for the attempted murder of a US Senator played by Robert De Niro and then having been left for dead by the Senator's evil henchmen. Saved by the beautiful “She” (smokin' hot Michelle Rodriguez), Machete goes on a bloody rampage and takes on all comers in this homage to low-budget ultra-violent movies from the 70s and 80s.

Anyone who saw and liked the Tarantino/Rodriguez collaboration Grindhouse (Death Proof and Planet Terror) from 2007 will immediately want to see Machete. For you see Machete was one of the mock trailers that played before said movie, trailers which actually turned out to be more popular than the films themselves. And so Rodriguez in all his wisdom decided that Machete should be given the full length feature treatment and be committed to celluloid forever.

Making good on the many promises (boobs, blood and bastardos) from that trailer, Rodriguez brought in a cast Stallone would kill for. We're talking Danny Trejo, Jesica Abla, Robert De Niro, the in-form Jeff Fahey (Lost), Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson (scene stealer extraordinaire) and 90s ass kicking icon Steven Seagal. And so, with tongue firmly in cheek, Rodriguez fired up the cameras and let the mayhem begin.

The reason Machete works so well is because each actor is willing to ham it up in the extreme, with the likes of De Niro, Don Johnson (welcome back, Sonny), Lohan (looking like she doesn't even realise she's in a movie) and Seagal playing parts they'd normally run a mile from but instead they all put in their time with gusto. Interlopers aside, Rodriguez regulars Trejo, Fahey and Cheech have a ball, while the ladies sizzle on screen and bare the flesh with reckless abandon.

Dumb, violent, cheesy, gory, funny and politically correct (yes that's right....correct) Machete is the cure for the modern bland Hollywood action movie we've grown to hate.

Andrew Kennedy