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12th Mar 2014

Robbie Keane gets a mention in the top ten wittiest football chants of the last decade

There are some absolute belters in here, many of which, much to our pleasant surprise, we had never heard before.

Conor Heneghan

There are some absolute belters in here, many of which, much to our pleasant surprise, we had never heard before.

To mark the launch of their fantasy football game, a company called Oulala conducted a poll amongst 1,500 football fans to find the best chants of the last decade and while some of them will be remembered instantly by many of you, there are a few that we can’t remember hearing before.

Judging by some of the ‘banter’ you can hear from the stands every week, we can only imagine that the responses had to be very carefully monitored, but the final ten are still very witty and amusing.

A West Ham chant toward Rio Ferdinand tops the pile, an ode to Robbie Keane from the Liverpool fans gets a mention and, as you might expect, John Terry’s off-field habits also merit an inclusion even if, oddly enough, it was from his own fans.

Top ten wittiest football chants

1. “His name is Rio and he watches from the stand” – West Ham fans to Manchester United’s Rio Ferdinand, sung to the tune of Duran Duran’s Rio.

2. “When you’re sat in row Z, and the ball hits your head, that’s Zamora, that’s Zamora” – Fulham supporters hail their striker Bobby Zamora, sung to the tune of Dean Martin’s That’s Amore.

3. “You should have stayed on the telly” – Newcastle United fans to Alan Shearer, when the Match of the Day pundit led the team to relegation as manager.

4. “He’s fast, he’s red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane” – Liverpool fans on the club’s striker.

5. “Your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside” – Manchester United fans singing about Liverpool’s Luis Suarez.

6. “Deep fry yer pizzas, we’re gonna deep fry yer pizzas” – Scotland fans to Italy’s supporters in a World Cup qualifier in March 2007.

7. “Chelsea, wherever you may be, keep your wife from John Terry” – Chelsea fans saluted their captain Terry after his affair with former team-mate Wayne Bridge’s ex-girlfriend, sung to the tune of Lord Of The Dance.

8. “John Carew, Carew. He likes a lap-dance or two. He might even pay for you. John Carew, Carew” – Aston Villa fans sang this about their player, to the Que Sera song.

9. “Fat Eddie Murphy, you’re just a fat Eddie Murphy” – Newcastle United fans used this heckle on then-Chelsea player Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

10. “You only live round the corner” – Fulham to Manchester United supporters, a chant now sung by many other London teams when they play at home to United.