The boys on Brazil. The JOE Sports team give their World Cup picks

It's here, it's finally here. And it's absolutely glorious.

The feeling of being like a kid on Christmas morning wears off on most men in their early teenage years, but football fans everywhere get to experience similar levels of excitement every four years when the World Cup rolls around. Granted, you might be struggling to muster up enthusiasm when Honduras take on Ecuador late next Friday night, but we’re basically looking at wall-to-wall football every day for the next two weeks, followed by two weeks of the best teams and the best players in the business trying to sort out who is worthy of winning the game’s ultimate prize in the knockout stages. Much like football fans everywhere, the JOE team have done little else but think about the World Cup for the last few weeks and we decided to put our ‘expert’ opinions down on paper so that a) we can bask in the glory of our foresight come the end of the tournament or, most likely, b) we can subject ourselves to the ridicule of our readers after our pre-tournament predictions go horrendously awry. Without further ado, take a look at who the JOE writers feel will win the tournament, who’ll be the star, who’ll score the most goals, who’ll be the biggest disappointment and what will be said in the RTE studio in our beloved Billo’s swansong from the world of football broadcasting. It’s going to be a brilliant, brilliant month.

Tony Cuddihy

Winners: Argentina. Any country that can afford to leave Carlos Tevez at home has to be in with a shout, and in the likes of Messi, Di Maria, Higuain and Aguero they have four players who could all vie for player of the tournament. A strong midfield and decent defence too, only the goalkeeper (Sergio Romero) is seriously suspect. Player of the tournament: Paul Pogba. The young Frenchman has everything - power, pace, a sensational strike - to become the great central midfielder in world football. A strong France squad will only help him in Brazil. Let's hope Paul Pogba plays better than he dresses Top scorer: Gonzalo Higuain. A good first season for Napoli and one of the most deadly finishers in world football. You always got the sense that Real Madrid sold him for not having the profile of Ronaldo or Benzema, rather than anything to do with his footballing abilities. Dark horses: France. As with Argentina/Tevez, you have to wonder how good France are if they can afford to discard Samir Nasri (strop merchant or not). As well as Pogba, there's quality throughout in Varane, Mangala, Matuidi, Griezmann, Benzema and Giroud. They will miss Franck Ribery but they still have enough to get to the quarter-finals at least. Biggest disappointment: The hipsters won't be happy with me but I don't see Belgium pushing everyone else aside. They'll get out of their group and Lukaku is on fire, but they'll prove a bit too inexperienced. Eamon Dunphy is most likely to say… Before a Messi hat-trick: "Messi's always been a spoofer, Bill. A nothing player. An imposter." After a Messi hat-trick: "I've always said, Bill, that real quality is hard to find and Messi is the best player that's ever lived." What I’m most looking forward to: Quite simply, wall to wall football and the inevitable Twitter explosion whenever something big happens.

Conor Heneghan

Winners: Brazil. Much like New Zealand when they hosted the Rugby World Cup, the pressure on the hosts to deliver will be massive and though the team is far from the strongest Brazil has ever seen, I think they have enough about them to do the business. Player of the tournament: The easy one to go for if Brazil are going to win is Neymar as he’s clearly the talisman in attack and will be keen to atone for a fairly disappointing first season with Barcelona, but I’ll say that Thiago Silva, the inspirational PSG centre-half, will inspire his side to victory on home turf. Top scorer: Gonzalo Higuain. Ahead of Messi? Well, yes. I expect Argentina to go far and I also expect them to progress through the group stages with the minimum of fuss. Bosnia, Iran and Nigeria won’t provide the most formidable of opposition so the Napoli frontman could have a few field days in the opening week or two. Dark horses: Chile. So many people are picking Belgium as dark horses that you can’t really call them dark horses any more, but with the tournament taking place in South America and with the likes of Arturo Vidal and Alexis Sanchez in their ranks, Jorge Sampaoli’s men might surprise a few people. Biggest disappointment: Holland. There is undoubted talent in the Dutch ranks and their record in qualifying was outstanding but if Chile do surprise a few people and end up progressing from their group, then it is likely to be at Holland’s expense and they might end up in third place in a particularly strong group. Eamon Dunphy is most likely to say… ‘Bill, you complete me baby’ on the night of the World Cup Final, which will, of course, be Billo’s last broadcast before retirement. Don't go Billo! The end of an era, baby What I’m most looking forward to: There appears to be a consensus that winning this World Cup will be a step too far for the current Spanish side, but if they can do it they deserve to go down as arguably the greatest international team of all time. I look forward to seeing them try. Oh, and Aprés Match. I can't wait for Aprés Match. Sean Nolan Winners: Argentina. While I have reservations about their defensive ability, they are easily the most potent team in the tournament. A front four of Di Maria, Higuain, Aguero and a up-and-coming young fella called Messi is scary good and they have a more than decent draw. Add in the fact they are playing on their home continent and I can see them pulling off a Maracazano II against the hosts on July 13. Player of the tournament: Neymar. The winner of this gong hasn't won the tournament since Romario in 1994 and I'm backing Neymar to star but fail to pick up the big one. Top scorer: Gonzalo Higuain. The point of the fearsome Argentina attack, I think the Napoli man will have a glut of goals in the group stages which should do the job for him. In case you couldn't tell, we think this guy will do quite well Dark horses: A real dark horse needs to have nobody speaking about them so I'm going all out and picking Russia. Under Fabio Capello they will be tough to beat and they could easily top Group H ahead of Belgium. From there, qualifying foes Portugal could be next and they split their games 1-0 in both clashes so it is a coin toss. It is hard to see them win it, or to be too exciting to watch, but they could grind their way quite far in Brazil. Biggest disappointment: Spain. Yep, I'm going all out again and saying that the Spanish will finally hit the wall. Undoubtedly the greatest team of this era, the combination of a tough group, an ageing squad and the looming prospect of Brazil in round two if it goes a bit wrong in the group, it could all end in tears this time out for Spain. Eamon Dunphy is most likely to say… 'Just look at the protests Bill. We shouldn't be celebrating this tournament, we should be ashamed at how FIFA runs this thing'. (Stand up, rips off mic, walks off set). All of this during the opening ceremony. What I’m most looking forward to: Apart from watching three games of football a day? The attacking verve of Chile, how Ronaldo, Messi and Neymar live up to the enormous pressure, how England's younger players try to express themselves under Hodgson, what stupid shite the likes of Blatter and Platini will say and million other mouth-watering prospects. Most of all, the chance to enjoy the great Bill O'Herlihy one last time.

Joe Harrington

Winners: Spain. I can't figure out why so many people are writing off Spain's chances to winning back-to-back World Cups. I don't think the lack of an out and out striker will be an issue, it wasn't in Euro 2012 and this time around they have a serious Plan B in Diego Costa, if he's fit. I expect another spate of 1-0 wins but I think they'll go all the way again. There's plenty of life in these lads yet Player of the tournament: Thiago Silva. All the talk ahead of the tournament is about Neymar and how he's going too explode on to the world stage. But this Brazil team is built on great organisation and a rock-solid defence and at the heart of that is Thiago Silva. He's impressed with Paris St Germain and AC Milan over a number of seasons and I expect an outstanding tournament from the man mountain. Top scorer: Gonzalo Higuain. The way I worked this out is a) who has the easiest group? and b) who will go furthest in the competition? That's Argentina. They play Bosnia and Herzegovina, Iran and Nigeria in the group so expect goals there and with Higuain at the point of the attack, he'll surely fire a few in. Dark horses: Uruguay. On his own, a fit Luis Suarez can carry this team far but add in the quality individuals of the likes of Edinson Cavani, Diego Godin, Martin Caceres, Walter Gargano and Abel Hernandez and Uruguay can make a real impact. They haven't set the world alight as a group since 2010 but if they gel it could be a special few weeks. Biggest disappointment: Italy. Their build-up to the tournament, which included a draw with Luxemburg, has been dreadful and a lot of people are saying that makes them dangerous. I don't buy that. I think they have a good defence but going forward they are reliant on set-pieces or a moment of genius from Mario Balotelli, which isn't exactly reliable. Unless they give the likes of the exciting Immobile a chance, I can see them going out with a whimper. Eamon Dunphy is most likely to say… "I've watched a lot of Spanish football this season and this guy's a cod"... cue said player putting in a player of the tournament run of form and Eamo backtracking. What I’m most looking forward to: Discovering a quality player I knew very little about before the tournament. It was something I used to love back in the day; Seedorf, Nakata, Suker, Campos, Benni McCarthy and the likes were players you'd only see at the World Cup. That's a bit difficult in today's internet and Football Manager age but there's always one player who comes out of nowhere and impresses everyone, so I'm looking forward to seeing who that is.

Eric Lalor

Winners: Brazil. I know it's the easy pick as they are the home nation with all that fanatical support, but it was their form during last year's Confederation Cup and their systematic dismantling of Spain in the final where they walloped them 3-0 which convinced me that this Brazil team are the real deal. Neymar is the star man, but it's players around him like Oscar, Thiago Silva and Marcelo who make this a strong and potentially victorious Brazilian team. Player of the tournament: Lionel Messi. Again, it's quite an obvious pick but the diminutive genius hailing from the mean streets of Rosario is due a big tournament and I feel this is his time. People say he doesn't play as well for his country as he does for Barcelona, but he has 38 goals in 86 games for them, which isn't exactly a bad record. Messi could do a Maradona in 1986 on this tournament. How Leo Messi does teamtalks Top scorer: Lionel Messi. Can you see a pattern here? Messi scores goals for fun for Barcelona and he has become more prolific at international level over the years. Couple that with the fact that they are in a relatively easy group and I expect Messi to emerge as top scorer with at least six to his name. Dark horses: I'm going to go for Chile here. They are in a tough group with Holland and Spain, but I feel one of these giants will fall at the first round and it'll be because of Arturo Vidal and Alexis Sanchez's men. Spain play Holland in their first group match and I fully expect Chile to put both teams under pressure immediately with a comfortable win against Australia in their opening match. Biggest disappointment: It's already happened. The recent announcement from ITV that Roy Keane will not be part of their World Cup punditry team was a huge blow. I looked forward to Keane giving nothing but honest and downright damning analysis should a team not be pulling their weight. He never panders to the British either and would have been as cutting as he needed to be when talking about England and their prospects. Eamon Dunphy is most likely to say…"Look Bill, it's not a good tournament, it's a bloody great tournament. In fact Bill, it could be the greatest tournament we have ever seen. Oh, the World Cup? I thought you were talking about the Rose of Tralee." What I’m most looking forward to: I cannot wait to overdose on the beautiful game. I am giddy with excitement and just cannot wait for it to get started. The drama, the goals, the players, the controversy, the heartbreak, the colour, everything about the World Cup and the fact that the tournament is taking place in the spiritual home of football just adds to the sense of occasion for me. Bring it on!

Eoghan Doherty

Winners: Brazil. An obvious choice blah blah blah, but the team’s top talent, coupled with the fact that they’re playing on home soil in front of their amazingly passionate fans, will ensure that the samba soccer stars will definitely cope with the extraordinary pressure piled upon them at this year’s tournament. Plus, Neymar was texting me there the other day and he said that the lads in the Brazil camp are, and I quote, "buzzin’ at the minute, really up for it LOLZ ROFL NSPCA." Player of the tournament: Neymar. And no, it’s not just because we’re text buddies. The bizarrely-bequiffed Brazilian star is undoubtedly the main man for the home nation and, although he’s still only 22 years old (what!?), the fantastic forward’s individual performances will be central to the team’s inevitable – because I’ve predicted it, of course – tournament victory. Top scorer: Ronaldo. You’ve heard of him, right? The superstar is a goal-scoring muscle machine and I reckon, in the opening group phase of the competition especially, the Real Madrid maestro will bag himself at least a goal per game, perfectly setting him on course for the rest of the tournament. Whether or not his Portuguese pals can even begin to match his ridiculously high standards remains to be seen though. Which brings us nicely to... This lad could do with cutting down on the custard creams in Brazil Dark horses: Portugal. Some people might say that they’re overly-reliant on one man – Nani Cristiano Ronaldo – and those people would be 100% correct. However, although their squad lacks real depth, the first XI is capable of beating anyone on their day and, if manager Paulo Bento can keep his hard-working first team firing together for as long as possible, they’ll definitely be a big surprise at this year’s tournmament. Biggest disappointment: Honduras. I unfortunately got them in the office sweepstake so, before a ball’s even been kicked, they’ve already disappointed me massively. I fully expect this crushing disappointment to continue for as long as they stay in Brazil. Eamon Dunphy is most likely to say… "No Bill, no, no, no way Bill, no, no, no Bill, no, no, no." *Match happens. Dunphy's wrong* "Yeah Bill, just like I told ya all along Bill. Yeah baby. Yeah." What I’m most looking forward to: The World Cup. Liquid Football, obligatory shots of attractive, face-painted fans in the crowd, some more liquid football, grown men crying, even more liquid football and amazing goal celebrations that I’m definitely going to copy the next time I score a rocket in five-a-side (from two yards out).  Oh, and England going out on penalties...