Transfer Talk: James Rodriguez fancies Real, Suarez to Barca and Khedira off to Arsenal

The best player so far at the World Cup, James Rodriguez from Colombia, fancies a move to Real Madrid.

Large Spanish publication AS report that newly installed best player in the world ever, ever, in the history of ever, James Rodriguez has expressed his wish to play in Spain and in particular for a club called Real Madrid. James David Rodríguez Rubio from Colombia has made a bit of a mark on the World Cup in Brazil by having the temerity to be top scorer after four games with five goals. After his brace against Uruguay on Saturday night (don't mention Uruguay and braces again) which included a contender for goal of the tournament, he spoke to the media and said, "I always dreamed of playing in the League of Spain, which is the world's most important to me. Going to Barcelona or Madrid? Madrid is the team that I like more ... ". Nice to see him keeping his cards close to his chest there. The Daily Mirror say that Barcelona still want to give Liverpool shed loads of money for Luis Suarez (pic above), but get this, only if he agrees to a special 'biting clause'. That's right folks, a biting clause. Sounds like a dangerous Father Christmas, but the Catalans want to protect their investment by telling Suarez, 'Listen Luis me oul' flower, we'll give you £160,000 a week and all you have to do is not bite people, okay?' Liverpool want £80m for Suarez, but Barcelona will only offer around £26m plus Alexis Sanchez (pic above) according to the Daily Star. Wait, hang on. There is no evidence of this happening, it's just a suggestion from the Star itself. They reckon there will be an impasse about the fee between the two clubs and they've offered their tuppence worth as a possible solution. So there you have it folks, papers are now transfer problem solvers. The Sun are reporting that Arsene Wenger is after Sami Khedira (pic above) from Real Madrid. Wenger, who has re-invented the 'budgie smugglers' out in Brazil, sees the German midfielder as someone who can bring the best out of another German, Mesut Ozil. A fee of £23m which has obviously been plucked from thin air is being mooted as the right price to entice the man who was a musketeer in a past life. Wenger is stopping there though, oh no! The Daily Mirror are telling us that he also wants Southampton's French midfielder, Morgan Schneiderlin (pic above). He's on duty with France in Brazil and they reckon £20m will be enough to secure him. Southampton, meanwhile have asked the FA to consider making the Premier League a five-a-side tournament next season as they are not down to about six players having sold nearly everyone in the last week or so. In other stories, it looks as if Thomas Vermaelen (pic above) is indeed of to Manchester United, Swansea defender Ben Davis is off to Spurs and the Metro are reporting that Mario Balotelli will try to force through a move to Arsenal. This should be some feat considering Wenger went public last week dismissing this as an idea. We're off to the Copacabana for a game of beach volleyball with Arsene Wenger.