Transfer window: Cole, Keano, Keogh, Riquelme and more

From Joe Cole to Robbie Keane, Andy Keogh to Juan Roman Riquelme, we bring you all the latest from the world of transfer gossip.

By Jonny Stapleton

World Cup prompts regurgitation

Sports journalists have been preoccupied with all things World Cup over the last number of weeks and the usual summer transfer gossip has suffered accordingly.

The rumour mill hasn’t been churning at its speculative best and there is less gossip about than topless beaches in Saudi Arabia.

In fact it seems sports editors have been forced to copy and paste previous weeks' rumours just to fill gossip columns.

The regurgitated spiel has seen Yaya Toure - a player who by being linked to Arsenal for the last 18 months and Manchester City for the last six has broke Jordan’s gossip column appearance record - City-bound once more. Toure is eager to be reunited with his brother Kolo but Man City will have to part with over £20million for the Nou Camp bench warmer.

Transfer junkies City again got their fix and were linked to any player with a price tag exceeding £20million. Fernando Torres, Steven Gerrard and Zlatan Ibrahimovic amongst others were all rumoured to be Eastlands-bound. JOE reckons City don’t even employ scouts. They only want to purchase established marquee names and have no interest in the transfer bargain basement.

Amongst the by now boring and mundane Eastlands gossip there was one interesting City development. Long term target David Silva has hinted at his intention to play in England. However the Spaniard will continue to play hard to get and is also flirting with Chelsea.

Another story that has been as regular as ballooned shots in this World Cup is Yossi Benayoun's potential move Chelsea. It seems the Israeli is now a dead cert to be playing at the Bridge next term. JOE is a big Yossi fan, but Joe Cole must be upset Chelsea let him go on a free only to purchase a similar replacement twice his age on a four year deal?

Cole, who was tipped to become a world beater - albeit by the English media - when he was a teen, could trade dark blue for recession proof light blue if City make him one of their top 100 earners with a £110,000 a week salary.

One Monsieur Wenger seems to be enjoying his new financial clout. However, so long has Wenger been waxing lyrical about the benefits of the youth policy (transfer window code for 'I am broke'), that Arsenal are not as creative in transfers are they on the pitch.

For the third week running the Gunners failed to fire little new our way. Phil Jagielka, Joe Cole, Mark Schwarzer and Laurent Koscielny are again all linked with The Arsenal. Meanwhile, the Cesc Fabregas saga has entered act two but without any new developments.

One new player the professor has been studying is Madjid Bougherra (below). The Arsenal boss has been impressed by Rangers' Algerian international and wants the defender to further frustrate and humiliate English attackers next season.

Another recurring theme in the transfer window has been Rafa Benitez's pursuit of some of the players that ultimately cost him his job at Liverpool. It seems Inter fans could be doing the Monster Masch next term in homage to the brilliantly competitive and destructive Argentine Javier Mascherano. Liverpool fans will be hoping the goateed one will also be successful in his pursuit of the Lucas and Dirk Kuyt.

Spurs boss Harry Redknapp has already been linked to Diego Forlan. However he is now praying the Uruguayan starts scoring own goals instead of goals in the World Cup to prevent price inflation.

Spurs could miss out on another man regularly linked to White Hart Lane, Steven Pienaar. The 28-year-old, who plays to 'honour God and not for money’ will become the highest-paid player at Goodison Park. Pienaar has been offered a four-year, £55,000-a-week deal by Toffees boss David Moyes.

More: West Ham go wild, Scousers at Real, wizardry of Oz >>>

Can’t Touch This - Hammer Time

Manchester City apart, West Ham can’t be touched in terms of transfer talk. Considering only two months ago the bubble blowers put every player on the transfer list JOE expected all Upton Park gossip to be out-bound related.

But the Hammers seem to be recruiting at a frantic rate. They have already been linked with handy man Thierry Henry, Yakubu, prodigal son Joe Cole, Rennes winger Sylvain Marveaux and Nadir Belhadj amongst others.

But JOE is most excited by the news that one of the greatest Pro Evolution Soccer players of all time could be Premier League bound. Juan Roman Riquelme was unstoppable in PRO EVO 6 - he could score from range, dribble a la Messi and much to the delight of computer-version-Hernán-Crespo, was a through-ball specialist.

The 31-year-old Argentina star is reportedly on the verge of joining West Ham on a two-year deal after turning down Everton and Tottenham. Hammer fans could have a new Paulo Di Canio to worship next term.

But probably the best news to come out of Upton Park over the last week was the news that Scott Parker has decided to stay put. The keepie uppie star of a the McDonalds 90’s ad campaign is 'lovin' it' in the East End and has signed an extended contract.

Scousers United At Real

England captain Steven Gerrard has always said he would love to play club football with fellow Liverpudlian, and the only footballer he loves more than Fernando Torres and Jamie Carragher, Wayne Rooney.

‘The Boy Rooney’ will never sport the Liverpool crest but Stevie G’s dream could come true if Jose Mourinho successfully brings both players to Real Madrid. The Special One is ready to test the debt-ridden American-owned club's resolve with a whopping £110million double swoop.

Other rumours, however, suggest Gerrard is being priced out of the move. So delightfully dire has the entire English team been at the World Cup that Real Madrid think Stevie G’s value has dropped to £20 million. But Liverpool, who have no problem paying World Cup inflated prices considering they once broke the bank for one El Hadji Diouf, don’t believe in football depreciation and are holding out for £30million.

Mourinho is also said to be chasing a player he discarded at Chelsea, Glen Johnson. Mourinho must believe Maicon’s goal against North Korea was a fluke seen as he has taken him off the top of his right back hit list. Or possibly the Special One doesn’t want to give the man he loves to hate, Rafa Benitez, any injection of cash. If Mourinho is worried Rafa will invest the money wisely and subsequently eclipse the Special One’s Inter Milan’s achievements JOE suggests he looks at the Spaniard’s form in the transfer market. This is the man who purchased, amongst other wasters, Andriy Voronin, Jan Kromkamp, Momo Sissoko, Mauricio Pellegrino, Antonio Nunez, Josemi and David Ngog.

Madrid have also been mentioned alongside the names of Ashley Cole and Fernando Torres. However JOE can't see Atletico Madrid legend ‘Dream Boat’ Torres signing for their hated rivals.

The Wizardry Of Oz

JOE tipped Mesut Ozil (right) as a player to watch out for in this World Cup. If Chelsea would have contacted us earlier they could have saved themselves 15 of Mr Abramovich’s millions.

Ozil’s stock has risen thanks to superb performances in Germany’s campaign. Chelsea are now readying a £20million bid for a player who just over two weeks ago was priced nearer the £5million mark.

Carlo Ancelotti is also rumoured to be pursuing another German, Bastian Schweinsteiger. The man who replaced Michael Ballack in the German midfield looks set to replace him in the Chelsea team. Nigh on eight years after making a villainous and controversial exit from Bayer Leverkusen the former German captain is going ‘home’ to a hero’s welcome.

More: Sweet FA for Man U, Nightmare Irish moves and the best of the rest >>>

Sweet FA For United

By all accounts Sir Alex Ferguson has £80million in his pocket but the fiery Scot doesn’t want to spend any of the cash he supposedly has at his disposal. Too proud to copy Wenger’s youth is best statements, Ferguson has stated he doesn’t need to improve his squad!

However despite being content with his lot Ferguson has been chasing more freebies than an Irish TD. He has long been a Joe Cole admirer and has enquired about the out-of-contract England star. Ballack was another on the radar of the man who dislikes the FA but seems to have become a fan of spending sweet FA.

Not to mention United could pocket a player who five years ago could have cost over £40 million, Raul, for free. Madrid are willing to let their legendary goalscorer leave for nothing as a 'thank you' for the years of services, and Ferguson is interested.

One rumour did have the mind games master spending some loot. Upset with the ‘Welcome To Manchester’ sign erected by bitter but up until recently unequal rivals Man City last season, Ferguson wants to give the United fans an opportunity to hit back.

The whisky-nosed gaffer is looking to sign Micah Richards for £10million. JOE reckons if City sign all the players they are linked with this summer they might give Richards away for free.

Nightmare Irish moves

Robbie Keane’s football dreams have come true on numerous occasions. He has had ‘dream’ moves to Liverpool, Celtic and Inter Milan. We reckon Ireland’s greatest ever goalscorer might have a nightmare transfer ahead of him. Keane is this summer being linked with a step down the football ladder to teams like Bolton, Wolves and Villa.

Now it seems another unfashionable side have entered the not too exciting race for the Irish captain's signature. Birmingham are said to have taken an interest in Robbie Keane and want to pair the talented front man with the lankiest of the lanks Nikola Zigic. Keane could be rescued from a move to the boring Brummies if they manage to snap up Fulham’s season sensation Bobby Zamora, however.

The flashy talents of Aiden McGeady (below) have been compared to that of a Brazilian. He has brought a whole lot of samba to Celtic Park over the years. So it comes as no surprise that a team in one of the most Brazilian packed leagues have been heavily linked with the Irish winger. Spartak Moscow have made an £8million bid. Birmingham are also said to be interested.

Stephen Hunt will be bull-dozing his way down Wolves' left flank next season having completed his move from Hull but one Irish player who won’t be part of the Wolves pack is Andy Keogh. The man who scored Wolves' first Premier League goal last term and impressed the Irish international selectors is en route to Bristol City.

Best of the rest

North Korea front man Jong Tae-Se could be crying and shooting from anywhere at Ewood Park next year.

Wigan fans and sub-editors alike will be delighted to hear Paraguayan centre half Antonin Alcaraz will escape to the Premier League next term.

Martin Petrov is bound for Bolton or Aston Villa, depending on which red top you choose to believe, while Arsenal are interested in Fiorentina midfielder Riccardo Montolivo. A starter in what has been described as Italy’s worst ever team could be a goner in World Cup terms but might be a Gunner by the end of the summer.