Day 33. Love Island, am I right? Thursday night’s episode was a whirlwind from start to finish. There were highs, there were lows, there were subtle background objects that you might not have noticed. We’re now just over halfway through the series and it’s important that we all check in with each other and make […]

7 years ago

Day 30. Gonna level with you here given that we’re five weeks into Love Island 2019. Bit of a shit series, innit? They’ve chosen contestants that are fine, but they’ve sacrificed the banter. It’s an entertainment show. Maura, for orthopaedic reasons, cannot carry the entire series alone. She needs like-minded people to bounce off. Where’s the spark? […]

7 years ago

Melania Stump Someone has used a chainsaw to carve a life size statue of Melania Trump. That is what has happened. That is what we know. The results are very much what you would expect. Bizarre statue of Melania Trump erected in Slovenia https://t.co/pKbrGAtZFa pic.twitter.com/wuTsGnB3pM — New York Post (@nypost) July 5, 2019 In her […]

7 years ago

Day 29. Five weeks into Love Island 2019 and what have we learned? Mostly just that casting attractive people for reality TV is aesthetically pleasing, but good grief are they boring. Obviously we’re all going to have to see this series through right until the bitter end, but would it have killed them to send in a […]

7 years ago

Day 27.  Just another classic night in that pesky Love Island villa, wasn’t it? Yet again the show comprised of two separate arguments dominating all talking points, leaving room for very little excitement in other departments; namely, there was no banter. Still, it was fun to see Curtis continue to dig a sizeable hole for […]

7 years ago

Day 24. Just another bloody week in that Love Island villa, isn’t it? Last night’s episode was fine. It was fine. Nothing spectacular, nothing monumental just fine. The horny hopefuls are continuing to marinate in their respective villas, sussing out who’s who, what’s what and whether it truly is what it is after all. Are things a […]

7 years ago

Day 22. Love Island, am I right? Last night’s show was unexpectedly savage. Everyone was having a relatively nice time looking like that little pad of paper you find in stationary shops that people use to test pens, highlighters and rinse their friends by writing down their phone numbers accompanied by the phrase ‘Call 4 a […]

7 years ago

Day 20 Just another day on that pesky little Love Island, wasn’t it? The headlines this afternoon: The attractive people sat around and did some sunbathing, they snacked on Lidl goods, did some fighting and bitching, then had precisely two drinks each and called it a night. As is the usual pattern, we were due a […]

7 years ago

Day 19.  How do you know if someone doesn’t watch Love Island? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. RIP Danwande, we barely knew ye x. Last night’s show was a tough one to stomach as we had to say goodbye to Queen Yewande, paving the way for Arabella, a girl who is yet to say anything of substance […]

7 years ago

Day 18 Big bag of Love Island with the boys. Last night’s Love Island was a dramatic affair, with most of it based around Yewande, Danny and Arabella’s hectic love triangle. In other news, the planet is still dying. Elsewhere, Curtis and Amy came back from their date completely oblivious to what had unfolded, dancing in front of fire […]

7 years ago

Day 16.  Love Island, am I right? Another episode aired last night because that is what will continue to happen until such time as they put us all out of our misery and inevitably crown Michael and Amber the winners. What did you miss? Honestly, very little. A new girl came in, her name is the […]

7 years ago

Day 15. “Did you see Love Island last night?” is the only acceptable work conversation this summer. No more, no less. Although this year’s series is incredibly dry and slow moving, we as a nation must persevere because frankly there’s nothing better to do until the weather picks up. Last night’s episode was especially grim, with nothing […]

7 years ago

Day 14. Boy oh boy that Love Island pesky villa, eh? Last night’s episode saw the contestants regurgitate various food items into each others’ mouths all in the name of love, healthy competition and national embarrassment. We also were treated to Elma constructing the most rational and well-constructed argument we’ve ever seen in the entire history of Love Island, much […]

7 years ago

Day 13. There are now 16 people in the Love Island villa and it is a health and safety nightmare. Last night we were introduced to two new islanders, whose promo photographs I will now gently mock. Jordan Jordan looks like the school bully who used to stuff peoples’ sandwiches behind cold radiators in the summer and wait […]

7 years ago

Day 12.  Love Island, am I right? Now 12 days deep into this particular cycle of the show, things are by all accounts continuing to simmer away nicely. Prior to Maura’s arrival, the level of dramatics was somewhat lacklustre, but now it seems that we’re firmly on track to witness a relatively spicy series thanks […]

7 years ago

I’ve got a text notification! Honestly, at this point in the Love Island cycle, really, if we’re going to be true to ourselves, we might as well just lean into it now and go hell for leather. Love Island is a major part of our lives either directly or indirectly, and will continue to be so for […]

7 years ago

Day 10. Just another classic day in that ruddy Love Island villa innit? Thanks to the arrival of Maura ‘I Would Jump On Him’ Higgins, we finally have a bit of drama on that godforsaken island and life is finally worth living again. It took nine days for things to finally kick off, but we mustn’t look back […]

7 years ago

Day 9. “Love Island is for idiots” – a very cool legend who is better than all of us. Last night’s Love Island was really boring for the first three quarters of the show, then chaos entered the villa in the form of Elma and Maura, two girls who according to Molly-Mae, shouldn’t be hot because she’s never […]

7 years ago

Day 8. Maybe the real Love Island was the memes we saw along the way? Last night’s Love Island was decent, but there was one major flaw. After news broke around the world regarding Sharif’s departure from the show, the nation tuned in with bated breath to find out what resulted in this seemingly unproblematic dude getting kicked out […]

7 years ago

Day 7. Boy oh boy that Love Island villa, eh? It all kicked off last night, if your definition of ‘kicking off’ is a very tame evening indeed. Yewande finally got to go on a date, Molly-Mae revealed that she fancies everyone, Tommy had about twelve showers again and Curtis and Amy did some kissing. Now that […]

7 years ago

Day Six.  Welcome to the second week of Love Island 2019. Not much has changed to be honest; everyone is still furiously horny, multiple love triangles exist, Anton is still very much yet to prove that he has any sort of game whatsoever. Last night’s episode was fine, it was fine. Nothing kicked off, nobody announced that […]

7 years ago

Day 4. Hard to believe we’re nearing the end of our first week of Love Island 2019 after what feels like a solid month of watching these horny young adults’ every waking moment. Thursday night’s show turned out to be a very sneaky affair after the teaser suggested that the new girl would be entering the villa […]

7 years ago

Day 3. Still collectively getting our bearings with this year’s Love Island contestants and their various quirks, last night’s episode was an endurance test from start to finish. Overall, it was the Lucie, Joe & Tommy show, with their three-day love triangle seemingly coming to a head, then returning back to uncertainty once again. Basically, the entire […]

7 years ago

Day 2. It’s all kicking off in the Love Island villa, frankly at quite an alarming rate. Last night’s show was gripping, intense, and grippingly intense. Critics are giving it five stars in terms of bants. If you spent the duration of the show intermittently scrolling through Twitter so that you could send the dankest memes into […]

7 years ago

Day One. Praise the lord and kiss a baby, Love Island is back and finally our lives can reach a healthy although temporary level of fulfilment. Last night, we got to see our new crop of love-hungry islanders meeting each other for the first time, ascertaining which baskets they’d consider putting their hypothetical eggs into for the […]

7 years ago

I GOT A TEXT!

7 years ago

Lots of lols. Perhaps even too many lols? No.

7 years ago

There’s NO such thing as too much butter

7 years ago

How TF is Bran still alive?

7 years ago

Friends are the family you choose, much like drinks are the happiness you create

7 years ago

Eh-oh!

7 years ago

Rank of Duty

7 years ago

Sonic, what have you done?

7 years ago

“LOL” – u, readin these tweets

7 years ago

Happy Easter to you and yours

7 years ago

The Apostles would’ve been ALL OVER WhatsApp. I’m going to go ahead and call bullshit on some blatant lies that are in the Bible. I firmly dispute the following: Jesus had 12 close friends when he was in his 30s He was able to organise 12 people together to go for dinner on a Thursday night They were […]

7 years ago

Spoiler: They’re all called Chad

7 years ago

Every boy was a good boy, even the girls

7 years ago

Berocca Milk is worth a try

7 years ago

You’re a wizard, Harry

7 years ago

Tweets, am I right?

7 years ago

Toad is the character choice of a jester

7 years ago

Fun times with this one x

7 years ago

#4: Children ruin everything

7 years ago

You have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on

7 years ago

Fanny Chmelar deserved better

7 years ago

“Tonic water tastes like if 7up had depression”

7 years ago

Peng sorts only

7 years ago

CAN YOU?

7 years ago

10 years on and JB’s motives are still as unclear as ever

7 years ago