Nosebleed cure: A rasher up your nose

Do you suffer from nosebleeds? Want a way to stop them? Simply shove a rasher up your nose. Yep. A rasher. Go on – you heard us.

A new medical study has shown that packing your nose with strips of cured pork is one of the best ways to treat an uncontrollable nose bleed.

The Guardian reports that cured pork is as effective as a nasal tampon when it comes to stopping a nasty nosebleed. For centuries pork was considered as nothing more than a folk remedy, but it seems now, doctors are starting to sit up and take notice.

Doctors at the Detroit Medical Centre in Michigan discovered the medicinal properties of pork when they treated a girl who suffered from a rare disorder that caused prolonged bleeding

“Cured salted pork crafted as a nasal tampon and packed within the nasal vaults successfully stopped nasal haemorrhage promptly, effectively and without sequel,” the report says.

Basically it means that they shoved some pork up her nose and she was grand. Problem solved.

The researchers believe that the technique of using pork to cure nosebleeds fell into disuse due to concerns over the cleanliness of it.

While your first port of call may be to grab a box of tissues if your nose starts spouting, if you find that the flow isn’t easing off maybe you should try the cured pork method.

You’ll look like an idiot and probably keep smelling pork for the next week and a half but at least it’ll stop your nosebleed.