What’s going on with these septic tank charges?

There’s been a lot of talk about septic tank charges over the past few weeks. Yesterday Environment Minister Phil Hogan lowered the registration fee for septic tank owners, and now there is outrage that the taxpayer will have to fork out €20million to make up the deficit. Are you lost already? Let’s try and figure out just what the dealio is with septic tanks and their charges.

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Alright. Let’s start this from the very beginning. What is a septic tank?

A septic tank is used when a house has no connection to a main sewage pipe. It sits under the ground at the bottom of a garden or field. You flush your loo, waste leaves your house, travels through a pipe into the septic tank. The uh…heavier…stuff sinks to the bottom of the tank, the lighter stuff is flushed out via another pipe into a soakaway field drainage system. Simples. It is estimated that there are between 475,000 and 485,000 Irish people who use a septic tank.

Right, so what’s going on with septic tanks then? Why are they suddenly all over the news?

In October 2009 the European Court of Justice found that Ireland had broken EU law because we failed to put proper legislation in place to deal with domestic waste water from septic tanks. Because of this, the European Court of Justice demanded that every septic tank in Ireland be registered for inspections in order to stop pollution.

What if Ireland doesn’t bother to make people register their tanks? Sure weren’t we managing okay without them for years?

Well if the Government doesn’t bring in legislation to make people register their tanks, the EU will slap a €26,000 per day fine on the country. The EU wants this problem fixed and wants it done now.

But why do they want it done?

Pollution from septic tanks can be dangerous for the environment and our health. Plus it looks and smells disgusting – would you really want that kind of mess at the bottom of your garden?

What’s all this registration lark about then?

All residents who use a septic tank must pay a registration fee so that inspections can be carried out on the septic tank to make sure that its working okay and that waste isn’t a problem. If the septic tank is causing problems or doesn’t pass the inspection, owners will need to upgrade the tank at a cost of €8,000. Owners will be given a timeframe by their local authority to upgrade the tank, depending on how much pollution it is causing. If the tank is causing a lot of pollution, less time will be allowed for repair.

€8,000 to upgrade a septic tank? Where am I supposed to get that kind of money? It’s an outrage!

Well, if you don’t find a way to get the money to upgrade your tank, you’ll be fined a further €5,000 on top of that for failing to comply with the law.

Unfair. How much is this registration fee going to cost me?

Originally the registration fee put in place by the Minister for the Environment was €50, but after considerable outrage he announce that the registration fee would be reduced to €5 for a limited time to encourage people to get their tanks registered.

Why are people getting so mad?

Well rural citizens are mad because they have no choice but to use a septic tank due to a lack of any mains waste drainage pipes. They’re angry because they have to pay extra on top of the dreaded household charge now too. The ordinary taxpayer is mad because they’re the ones who have to pay the massive shortfall of €20million brought about by Mr Hogan’s lowering of the septic tank registration fee.

Then what you’re saying is owners of septic tanks are being charged, the public will have to fork out more money and everyone is p*ssed off about it?

Yes, that’s exactly what we’re saying.