The struggle is real.
You might think it’s brilliant being tall but as the old saying goes “with great height comes gratingly-annoying things.” Yeah, someone said that before (they didn’t).
Here are 11 things that almost every tall person has experienced at least once in their life.
1. You get asked, “Did you ever play basketball?”
People need to realise that being tall doesn’t mean you like or are any good at basketball, you’re just a bit closer to the hoop.
Would you ask an overweight person if they ever did Sumo Wrestling?
2. You have no leg room in planes and cars
Knees in mouth is a common experience for long-legged folk, it’s especially uncomfortable when people recline their seats.
Stop doing that.
3. You piss people off at music gigs
You have an enormous and awkward frame but you still want to get close to the stage and see your favourite band during their gig.
Expect to hear a lot of sighs, tuts and the odd f-bomb because you are blocking EVERYONE’s view.
4. Your silhouette appears on cinema screens
You walk up the steps in the cinema and the blinding light from the projector smacks your face because your head is at an unreachable altitude.
A silhouette of your cranium fills up the screen, it’s embarrassing.
5. Your legs stick out from the bottom of the bed
“He’s big, he’s red, his feet stick out the bed, Peter Crouch” was the Liverpool fans’ song of choice regarding their ultra-lanky centre forward Peter Crouch.
It’s funny, but also factually correct because it’s hard to keep those feet under the covers.
6. You have to hunch down for group photos
Your friends are all average height or smaller so if you stand tall, it’s going to look like they’re posing with Big Ben.
7. Your parent’s friends ask, “Are you still growing?” and laugh
Internally you’re thinking, “No! I’m 29, I stopped growing at least a decade ago you idiot” but you actually say something like, “Haha, sure I’m so old now I’m probably growing down.”
8. People love hugging you
Tall people give better hugs, it’s a scientific fact that was discovered at the University of Fakesville in Southern Notaplacity.
Despite that terrible attempt at humour, there’s something comforting about hugging a taller person. It just feels better. We’re bear-like.
9. You get measured against the other tall person in the room
That awkward showdown when you’re face-to-face with a fellow tall person and someone in the room asks you both what height you are.
Instead of taking your word for it, they make you stand back-to-back.
10. You end up shifting the smallest person in the club
They say that opposites attract which is fine but in this case it can lead to back problems and a potential trip to your local chiropractor.
To be safe, sit down.
11. The constant tall jokes
“What’s the weather like up there?” or “What do tall people and chopsticks have in common? Legs” or “How do you make a tall person look more awkward? You can’t.”
LOL.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
