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Life

24th Aug 2017

15 small things that really annoy all Irish people

Paul Moore

How many of you can relate to these?

Irish people are generally easy going by our nature because most difficulties and issues can be shaken off with a quick utterance of “sure it will be grand,” “nothing a cup of tea can’t fix” or “ah feck it anyways.”

We’re a fairly level-headed country, which is why the following list of small grievances is insignificant in comparison to some of life’s bigger issues.

That being said, we love a good moan. So on with it…

Numbing your own hand after sleeping on it

Everyone has their own unique sleeping pattern. Some people like to hit the hay after binging on late-night TV while others choose to go to bed while the sun is probably still shining. Weirdos.

Are you the type of person that wrestles crocodiles in your bed, constantly snores, drools all over yourself or wildly kicks your partner as if your life depended on it?

There’s no feeling in the world though that makes you feel quite as thick as that moment when your arm is 100% numb after sleeping on it.

We all know the worst part though, it usually takes about 3 minutes until you can actually feel your own fingers moving.

This sort of thing.

Waking up earlier than planned

A few rules.

1) No one should leave their bed on an odd minute, i.e if the clock reads 07:27 then the only acceptable time to get up is 07:30.

2) Anyone or anything that wakes you up without provocation has signed their own death warrant.

3) Our body clocks are taking the piss out of us by somehow waking us up at 8am on the weekend during our days off.

Let us sleep for god’s sake.

Home-SImpson-sleeping-in-the-jury-box-with-fake-glasses

Queue for the bathroom

Without sounding too low-brow, the most wicked whizz that any man will need to take is in the morning.

Why then does the bathroom in your house/apartment seem like it has a bigger queue than the street outside of Coppers at 1am.

No milk in the fridge

To paraphrase Joey from Friends, tea without milk is like Friday with no two pizzas.

If ever there’s a legitimate reason to get the hump and enter your office like a bull in a china shop then it’s due to a lack of a decent cup of tea in the morning.

We look like this after realising that the fridge is empty.

Ralph

Stepping outside and it’s dark and miserable

If Irish people complained about the weather all the time then we would never get anything done. It’s ok to feel sorry for yourself though every once in a while.

A tiny part of our enthusiasm for the day dies on that moment when we step outside and the wind, cold and rain metaphorically punches us in the balls.

Then again we’re Irish, dealing with bad weather is in our blood.

RainTed

The wind is constantly against you on your bike

There are times when this writer has seriously questioned whether or not the weather is deliberately conspiring against me.

Seriously, why does the wind seem to be blowing into your face rather than giving you a much welcomed boost on your back during those early morning bike rides?

It’s the bloody same on the way home also. Fecking nature.

When you miss a bus/train by a split-second

I swear to god, some drivers/conductors must get a kick out of seeing people frantically trying to catch a bus in time only for them to hit the accelerator and take off.

Anyway, sure it’s grand. Another bus will be along very soon. Right?

Too much/little change for the journey

You’ve only got €4 on you and the fare costs €2.55.

Eejits on the bus

All of these people are the very worst.

1) Anyone who has a fully fledged conversation on any form of public transport before 9am.

2) People that sit next to you when there are free seats available.

3) Teenagers who play their shite music really loud for all to hear.

4) People that sit on the outside seat during rush hour just so they can avoid having someone else sit next to them. they usually make a big song and dance about the fact that you asked them to move. Gobshites.

busdublin

Biscuit teases

Do you have a roommate or family member that devours an entire packet of biscuits or crisps by themselves and leaves just one packet/biscuit for you?

It’s almost like their train of thought is, “ah I feel bad eating the 27 Crunchies on JOE, but I’ll leave him one so he’s happy.”

Well *thank you* for this incredibly thoughtful gesture.

* Sarcasm is fully intended here.

usabiscuits

A dead music player

Let’s be honest, we all like to talk with our work colleagues but we would rather listen to some good tunes than to hear them waffle on about their boring lives.

Just us?

Exolife-iPhone-4-Battery-Case

The earphone gremlins

Even if your iPod is fully charged, you probably will be furious whilst listening to the first song because your earphones are constantly tangled.

We’re convinced that there are little earphone gremlins that wait until your guard is down before they sneakily tie the cord into a knot that’s harder to solve than Pythagoras’s theorem after a night out on the lash.

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People who take ages in queues

If you’re ever in a coffee shop that has quite a lengthy queue to reach the register, if there’s someone in front of you who still hasn’t decided what they want once they reach the top, then you’ve our permission to kill them.

coffee-cups-with-smiling-006

€50 notes from the cash machine

Fair play to you if you actually have €50 in your bank account to begin with but all we wanted Mr ATM was enough money to buy a can of coke.

This money will now vanish faster than a fart in the wind.

Weak tea

Never trust people that overmilk their brew. We wrote an article on the tea making rules and it’s to be strictly adhered to.

Tea

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