21 jokes that are so bad they're actually brilliant (but still quite bad) 3 years ago

21 jokes that are so bad they're actually brilliant (but still quite bad)

1. How do you sell a deaf man a chicken? *leans in close* YOU WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?

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Submitted to Reddit by IBLEEDBACON

 

2. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.

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Submitted to Reddit by thebendavis

 

3. I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

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Submitted to Reddit by tricky3737

 

4. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Submitted to Reddit by Hobby_Man

 

5. What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Submitted to Reddit by [deleted]

 

6. I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

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Originally by Tim Vine. Submitted to Reddit by smoakwave

 

7. I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

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Submitted to Reddit by smoakwave

 

8. What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1

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Submitted to Reddit by [deleted]

 

9. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

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Submitted to Reddit by prettyfacebasketcase

 

10. My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.

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Submitted to Reddit by coolislandbreeze

 

11. What's Harry Potter's favourite method of getting down a hill? Walking... JK, Rolling.

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Submitted to Reddit by cyypherr

 

12. What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.

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Submitted to Reddit by kaberr12

 

13. What has two legs and bleeds? Half a cat.

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Submitted to Reddit by gildedwhiskey

 

14. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Submitted to Reddit by RogueLieutenant

 

15. What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!!!!

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Submitted to Reddit by TheAlmostHomeless

 

16. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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Submitted to Reddit by thisisthelast

 

17. Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

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Submitted to Reddit by Siivl

 

18. Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

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Submitted to Reddit by I_DRINK_BABYOIL

 

19. And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth; and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Submitted to Reddit by Musty__Elbow

 

20. I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

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Submitted to Reddit by 1000-screaming-bees

 

21. What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.

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Submitted to Reddit by dendawg

 

Sorry, everyone. Sorry about that.