Hands up, who’s guilty of these?
While attending a recent wedding on New Years Eve , it was nice to see the happy couple thank the DJ during their speeches because unlike most of the other people involved with this special day, the DJ can sometimes be forgotten amidst all the dancing, pints and craic.
Most DJs will say that they’re incredibly thankful to be doing something that they really love but there’s always a few ‘interesting’ characters and problems that are unique to their line of work.
To begin with, let’s deal with the lovely people that DJs meet.
To be clear, most DJs will tell you that the majority of folk that they meet in a club/pub are incredibly sound and make their jobs infinitely better. Then again there are always these people…
1) The opinionated types.
While you’re currently playing ‘Don’t Stop ‘Till You Get Enough’ they’re asking you “can you play something GOOD?!?!”.
2) The singers.
Lovely people that usually say something like “have you got that song by Rhianna?”. FYI, they have no idea what the name of the song actually is but they’re happy to sing it for you.
3) The progressive drunk.
At the start of the evening, they’re usually really shy when approaching the DJ booth. By the end of it though, they’re so full of Dutch courage that they want to take over.
4) The lingerer.
Ever seen someone that seems like they’ve spent the entire night hanging around the DJ booth?
It’s because they’re really curious about what’s going to be played next and are constantly trying to look over their shoulder.
Then again, maybe they just fancy the DJ?
5) Your peers.
“What software do you use to mix on your laptop? I’m only asking because I’m a DJ myself”. Riiiiiiiiiight.
6) Your ‘boss’.
“You have to play this song because I’m a customer and I pay your wages!”. Yep, it has nothing to do with the owners. Gerrup outta dat!
7) Dry shites.
You could be DJing on the night that Ireland have just won the World Cup but there’s still going to be a few people that are happy to just sit in the corner and play with their phones.
James Brown really did say it best….
8) The backseat-booth DJs.
If someone suggests a really good track and you play it for them then- drunk on a mixture of confidence and alcohol – they’ll usually insist on telling you some other tracks that they think will seamlessly mix into each other.
Don’t push your luck.
9) The charming pest
They’ve already made a request earlier in the night but like a moth to a nightclub light, they just keep coming back every 30 minutes.
It’s always fun messing with their head though because you know that you’re 100% going to play their request but why miss out on all the fun that comes from torturing them!
Is their song next?
10) Special requests
“Please can you play it, it’s my mates birthday” or “ah come on, we’re leaving in 10 minutes”. Yep, never heard those lines before.
11) “And you call yourself a DJ”.
A sentence that’s usually reserved for cretins that are asking for some obscure track that nobody knows. Including them.
12) The chats.
Doesn’t everyone know the code by now? When a DJ has their earphones in then they’re mixing between tracks. When the earphones are off, then it’s cool to chat with them.
Ok, so that’s most of the people that you see in a pub/club sorted, what about the stuff that’s more specific to DJs?
13) You’re wrecked before even arriving.
Like most other people in the country, you’re absolutely shattered from your 9-5 ‘steady’ job but now you’ve got to find the energy and will to get people up off their bums.
Challenge accepted!
14) The ‘vacant’ hours.
You’re 100% certain that the club/pub only gets going from 23:30 on but you still have to be professional and show up on time. It’s just a shame that no one else will be there.
Here’s what the dancefloor usually looks like at 21:30. Wild, eh?
15) Drinks dilemma.
If you’re playing in a decent club/pub then the bar staff will probably check-in with you to see if you fancy a pint.
After all, DJs can’t just leave the decks unattended whenever they crave a jar.
This being said, there are times when it seems like you’ve been screaming for a drink for the last 30 minutes.
The same rule applies when DJs need to use the bathroom but in this case, they usually just stick on a long track like Marvin Gaye – Got To Give It Up. Tune!
16) Crappy decks.
If DJs are mixing from a laptop then they can be at the mercy of some incredibly ropey technology that some clubs/pubs have.
Have you ever been in a club and heard the music cut-out? It’s probably due to some dodgy desk that’s 100 years old.
17) Technology is a bastard.
Like all electronic devices, laptops can freeze/crash or just act the bollo**s on you.
In this case, I’d imagine that most DJs have a reliable bank of tunes on their iPod/Spotify that they can instantly plug in, play and forget that the worst thing has just happened.
Blame those gremlins in the system.
18) You quickly hate specific songs.
This is mainly applicable to radio DJs. The first time that you heard ‘Take Me to Church’ on your show was great. Hearing it for the 1,736 time will drive you mad.
19) Food
This is unique to most DJs at private functions but they’re usually the last person to get fed.
20) People will never appreciate just how good this song is.
When in doubt…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6y_4_b6RS8
21) The eternal problem
“Sure anyone can do your job. Stick on a playlist or Genius on iTunes and we’re all sorted”. Jesus wept!
Despite all of these problems, I’m confident in saying that all of Ireland’s DJs are incredibly happy to be doing what they’re doing and that nothing beats a good night behind the decks.
99.99% of people are genuinely good eggs that make the whole experience better.
Do I hear you saying “one more tune, one more tune!”. Well, sadly that won’t happen because of the club/bar policy but if you happen to be a DJ and are having a bad night then just hold onto one precious image, that moment when you’re paid.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
