Dates… these things people go on when they run out of people to swipe on Tinder.
They can be fantastic, but they can also be as awkward as that time you saw your nan reading 50 Shades of Grey.
Pioc do Ride has been making the event even more cringe with their fantastic new TG4 show. In it, a single lad or lassie will examine the car of three other singletons to get a view of what they’re like. Then they pick one of the lucky car owners as their date.
Awkward? Yes. Hilarious? Definitely. To celebrate this great show, we’ve decided to put together a list of the things we all go through while on a first date.
The awkward choosing of a venue
If you guys go to the cinema you won’t get to talk, so if they’re a bit, you know, mad, you’ll have no idea. If you go for dinner, it’s a bit cliché and besides, you’ll definitely have to pick up the bill and pay day isn’t for ages yet.
You could try something left field like bowling, or bubbleball (?) or bring her rollerskating… but what if she thinks you’re weird… OK, drinks it is.
That ‘what do you do?’ conversation
This is a conversation had on every date since the beginning of time. We imagine Ugg and Ugula in a cave while the dinosaurs were prancing outside having this chat.
Ugula: “So what do you do?”
Ugg: “Nothing too exciting… bit of hunting. You?”
Ugula: “I make loin cloths and collect berries.”
Ugg: “How exciting”
EVERYONE: “Yawn.”
Pretending to be someone you’re not
“‘So you like cats, yeah I love them too’… no you don’t, you hate cats. Why would you even say that.’
Some version of that inner monologue will be played in your head while on a date. It’s guaranteed.
The awkward cheque dance
Do you pay, or do you go halves? When she says ‘no, honestly I will pay for my own’ does she mean it? God, this is stressful.
What’s your final move?
A kiss, a walk to the door, a ‘coffee’. Where does all this go, what do you do and when do you do it? This is all quite stressful, ain’t it? You could just stay in and watch Pioc do Ride on TG4 on Thursdays at 10pm.
Yeah, that seems like a way easier idea.
Catch up on last week’s episode here.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
