“Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.”
Technically, Roy Keane wasn’t talking about Christmas shopping but that quote can be applied to almost anything.
Christmas is great, unless you leave getting a present for your better half until the very last minute. We’ve all done it and we all know the fear.
Luckily, we’ve come up with a list of shopping commandments to get you through the worst of it.
Online shopping can’t help you now
Internet shopping is amazing. Or it would have been three weeks ago.
Now you need to brace yourself for shopping areas that look like something out of The Walking Dead. Expect no mercy or human kindness on those streets. This is all about survival.
Test your memory
The chances are that your loved one has been subtly dropping hints in the run up to Christmas, most of which you probably missed.
It’s time to channel your inner Sherlock Holmes and try any trick you can to remember.
Think of buying experiences
Online shopping may be dead to you but that doesn’t mean you can’t make online bookings. Flights, holidays, gigs or other experiences are all options that could get you out of a hole.
Simply book them, print out the receipt and you’re done. Boom!
Make a shopping list
Time is precious. You need a plan so draw up a shopping list.
Make a list, stick to it and get it done. Improvisation is for jazz musicians, not Christmas shoppers.
Accept your fate
Last minute shopping is easier once you’ve accept that all hope is lost. Acceptance is key.
Just hope for the best but don’t burden yourself with unrealistic expectations.
Keep calm
OK, so people are wrestling each other for gifts and you’ve just been elbowed in the neck for the third time in the space of five minutes. Find a happy place!
Don’t stray off the beaten track
This is no time to hunt down a boutique shop that’s miles away from everything else.
You want to be in the centre of the action, with as many shops as possible around to provide backup options. Sure, it’s going to be carnage but you’re now playing a numbers game.
Don’t hesitate
You need a killer instinct to go shopping in late December.
Checking prices in other shops may be OK in November. But by the time Christmas Eve rolls around, a present in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Beware of opportunistic salespeople
They can smell your fear. In your current mental state, you could end up buying anything.
Avoid petrol stations
We’ve all been there.
And we all know that no good can come of it. Step away from the novelty car seats.