You’ve done the hard part. You’re out of bed.
Now, all you have to do is negotiate the struggles of your Monday morning.
Such as…
The alarm clock is f*cking with you
You’ll put it on snooze for twenty minutes. It will ring almost immediately.
You’ll think “how was that 20 minutes?”
It was, but time moves slower on a Monday… until you get to work, that is.
Negotiating the school traffic
When you’re looking forward to the school holidays as much as the children are, you know there is a problem.
We won’t even mention cyclists, because the risk of starting another civil war is far too high.
The queue in the coffee shop
Is there traffic for everything now? When did we decide this? We knew this government coalition was a bad idea. Damn Enda Kenny.
“So how was your weekend?”
You will hear this at least 15 times when you arrive into work, mostly from people who want to share their weekend story with you.
Simply say, “Well I bludgeoned 36 seals and went to a sado-masochistic sex party. You?”
Emails. So many emails.
When you were young, the tooth fairy delivered a stash of cash while you slept. Now you’ve grown up and the Tooth Fairy has decided he/she hates you.
Instead of money, they deliver tedious emails full of tasks, queries and general menace. Enjoy.
Mid-morning meetings
Scheduling meetings on a Monday morning? These people would have fit in well at the bondage party.
Reassessing your ambitions for the week
This article started out as ‘The 10 struggles of every Monday morning.”
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