9 annoying things your friends say when they come back from travelling

Brought to you by Homebird.

We all know someone that came back with notions!

Travelling is a great way to see the world and open your mind. Still, we all know people who go travelling and then wreck your head when they come back. Maybe they’ve taken to wearing hippy pants and telling you that you have too many material belongings. Or they might just find a way to shoehorn their trip into every conversation, even when you’re talking about Arsenal’s defensive formation. If you ever had a mate who went travelling and came back with notions, you’ve probably heard at least one of these statements.

1. You haven’t had coffee until you've had the coffee in X, Y or Z

We’re pretty sure we’ve had coffee before. It may not have been brewed from coffee beans that have passed through the digestive system of an Indonesian cat but it’s still coffee.

2. That place was way too touristy for me

You do realise that you were one of those tourists, right? It’s like someone farting in a room and then complaining about the smell.

3. I had the CRAZIEST night at the Full Moon Party

Drunken war stories from a beach in Thailand are the same as drunken war stories from a nightclub in Dublin. No one cares, no one finds it as interesting as you do, and everyone just wants the story to end as quickly as possible.

4. You have to see [insert landmark here] when the sun is coming up

No, we don’t. In fact, we’re going to specifically avoid doing that if we’re ever in the neighbourhood just because you keep banging on about it. Stop trying to force your holiday experiences on other people.

5. Travelling really changes who you are as a person

You backpacked and drank your way around Europe for four weeks. It’s not like you walked barefoot through a desert while contemplating the nature of human existence.

6. I just loved getting away from social media. It was so liberating!

That’s funny. You managed to upload an awful lot of travel snaps to Instagram for someone who turned their back on social media.

7. That totally reminds me of this one time in Argentina…

Stop. Please stop. This is no time to shoehorn your Argentina story into an unrelated conversation.

8. You should be able to fit everything you own into a backpack

Listen, hippy. You may have decided to swear off material goods but I’m not going to sell my PlayStation, alright?

9. I’m glad I went when I did because everything is changing so fast

Translation: My trip there will be better than any trip you ever do in the future because I got to see the “real” country/city/jungle village. Or to put it another way, I’m a bit of a smug git. Travelling can be a great experience but being well-travelled is not always a good thing, as this video proves! Homebird – 100% Irish chicken and turkey. Brought to you by Homebird.