“Disney fans preferred but not expected.”
In a world where box rooms about three foot wide are described as cosy and private, it’s somewhat refreshing to see such an honest listing for a house.
While rents are high around the capital and people are paying more and more for less, this house in Athlone in Westmeath offers a thoroughly realistic description of what to expect.
The ad starts off with the title, ‘useless information’.
“House share available in Woodville Close,” the ad states. “Close to no amenities, unless you love motorways, Spar, and Bucaneers Rugby. If you work for Ericsson then you’ll practically live at work, which is really nice if you’re super-positive about it.”
A curious start so far, but let’s see how this plays out…
“House is in a quiet family area where there are far too many families with far too many kids making far too much noise and asking far too many questions.”
“There is a yappy dog next door. She is small and angry all the time and has no qualms with barking all night right by the vent in your room. You will not warm to this dog and if you somehow do then none of the neighbours will trust you and you will be ostracised at the annual Woodville Ice-Cream Social.
“The house is well lit and I have seen to this personally. The living room really gives it a romantic feel, while there is a disco light in the hall (pictured). The available bedroom has fairy lights around the upper-edge but these are mine and I will be taking them with me. I just think they’re super-cute and I wanted you to see them. There are other lights and candles throughout the house in odd places.”
The creator of the advert has plenty more of little comments to make which you can read in full here, but finishes with an extremely normal comment, “Disney fans preferred but not expected.”
In fairness, they do follow it up with a “useful information” section underneath for anyone who’s genuinely interested in the property.
Fair play for the creativity of it all though…
Cheers to Gino Bam Beano for sending this our way. Got a story for JOE? Get in touch with us here.
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