Thanks Orlando, thanks a bunch.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll be aware that Orlando Bloom was pictured this week with girlfriend Katy Perry in sunny Sardinia. For many men that alone would be enough to envy the millionaire Hollywood actor.
But it is the Pirates Of The Caribbean star’s attire – or rather lack of it – that has many men feeling all insecure and green-eyed. He was snapped in the nude while paddling with his pop star beau, and it seems he was packing.
THE DAILY STAR FRONT PAGE: "Blooming oarsome Orlando" #skypapers pic.twitter.com/YrwMX2IX0p
— Sky News (@SkyNews) August 3, 2016
British papers featured censored images of the English actor, but curiosity got the better of numerous men and women out there as they scoured social media for untouched images. Just for research purposes, obviously.
out here lookin for those uncensored pics of Orlando Bloom like pic.twitter.com/b9b42EIxQQ
— Ian (@ianspencer95) August 3, 2016
It’s safe to say they were somewhat taken aback by what they saw…
*sees Orlando Bloom trending*
*clicks on the trend* pic.twitter.com/n7TESl8TtK
— The Late Late Show (@latelateshow) August 3, 2016
As you can see below, the male reaction was generally one of very honest inadequacy. Serves them bloody right for looking in the first place…
Orlando Bloom? More like That man has a very large penis and now I feel inadequate.
— Adam Jarmon (@jarmon) August 5, 2016
I don't normally have a go at celebs but Orlando Bloom can fuck off, making feel inadequate, the bastard.
— Real Pengy (@RealPengy) August 4, 2016
Just checked out why Orlando Bloom is trending. Now I feel woefully inadequate.
— MaddiStarbz (@NordstromMaddi) August 4, 2016
Thanks to the Internet, I now know Orlando Bloom has got a respectably sized penis. Which is horrifying as mine is terribly inadequate.
— Steven (@StevieDunninho) August 4, 2016
I can never again say I haven't seen Orlando Bloom's cock. Fuck off internet. You're a real asshole sometimes.
— ⚔ uɐʎɹq ⚔ (@autopsy4) August 5, 2016
I've always heard how pictures in magazines make women feel insecure but after seeing Orlando Bloom's giant flaccid penis I truly understand
— David Smith (@DavidSmith1046) August 5, 2016
So I saw Orlando Bloom's flaccid penis today, not how I was expecting my day to turn out to be honest
— Lewis Hanson (@PepsiLew22) August 4, 2016