Our dads are the self-appointed centres of all our universes and we look at some nuggets of wisdom you’re bound to have received over the years from them.
Who cares if the advice is hilariously bad or inaccurate? It’s part of why we love our dads. He means well…..
On women – ‘Treat them mean, keep them keen’
Most dads consider themselves as experts on all things regarding the opposite sex. They view themselves as Lothario type figures and are ready to dish out the ‘advice’ on how to keep a woman happy. This nugget is based on the premise of not looking too needy. That’s all very well, but acting the hard man eejit with a woman is a sure-fire way to ensure that the relationship will not get past the ‘can I buy you a drink’ phase. Interestingly enough, a lot of dads will whisper this advice to you so as not to let their wives hear them.
On politics – ‘Don’t vote, they’re all the same’
A lot of people will concur with this piece of advice, but this Russell Brand school of thinking is not going to improve things in the political system. People need to exercise their democratic right and even if Dad thinks ‘they’re all crooks’, it should not put you off your civic duty.
On manners – ‘Look after your elders’
Dads are biased here, seeing as they are, by definition, older than you. But looking out for those older than you is a vital part of being a fully sound member of society. As we said, your father counts so make sure you send him a CHEER this Father’s Day and create a personalised card for him right here with thanks to CHEERIOS. You know it is the right thing to do.
On finance – ‘Buy yourself a house’
Now, we are not saying that dads are responsible for the property bubble and subsequent implosion, but a lot of dads advise their offspring to get a house as soon as they are earning. Quite often this leads to crippling debt and you not being able to afford a night out until well into your 60s. Not every house, see below, are excellent investments.
On crime – ‘They should put them on an island and let them at it’
Penal expertise is a field that dads seem to think they excel in. Everytime a major crime is reported in the media, dads seem to think a Hunger Games-esque scenario is the only way of dealing with them.
On health – ‘Diets are for the weak’
Some dads don’t buy into the whole health kick at all. When dads hear of impending healthy food and fitness regimes from their kids, it’s often met with indifference and sentences such as ‘Sure when I was 17, I smoked 20 fags a day and there wasn’t a bother on me’, followed by a coughing fit and a desperate call for an inhaler.
On DIY – ‘Get yourself a bit of four-by-four and a hammer’
It doesn’t matter what you are doing around the house because dad always knows best. If you are installing a new washing machine..’Get yourself a bit of four by four and a hammer’, if you are changing a light bulb..’Get yourself a bit of four by four and a hammer’ or even if you are gardening….’Get yourself a bit of four by four and a hammer’. Top tip – Never ask for sexual advice when he’s in this mood.
On football – ‘He wouldn’t last five minutes with Chopper Harris’
We live in an age where two of the greatest footballers of all time are both plying their trade to wondrous effect in the form of Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. Dads are rarely impressed and often hark back to the days where skilled footballers were kicked to within an inch of their lives.
Cheer for your dad and all the advice he has given you and create a Father’s Day card for him with thanks to Cheerios. Click here to follow a simple guide to creating the perfect Father’s Day card. He’ll think you’re just like him….awesome!
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