Ahead of tonight’s Irish premiere and the upcoming release of the provocative comedy ‘Don Jon’, the man himself is here to give you his top tips before heading out for a night on the town.
You lucky, lucky people.
The film opens across Ireland on 15th November (Certificate 18).
‘Don Jon’, is the first outing as feature film director for the very talented Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who also stars as the titular Jon Martello, a confident New York lothario nicknamed Don Jon due to his amazing ability to “pull 10s” each and every weekend.
Kind of reminds us of JOE to be honest…
When he starts going out with movie-obsessed Barbara Sugarman (Scarlett Johansson) he also chances across Esther (Julianne Moore), and realises that his late-night addiction to porn might just start to get in the way of his love life.
First of all you’ll need the perfect pick up line – Don Jon’s favourite? “I’ve lost my number, can I borrow yours?” Sure, it’s an old one but it’s an absolute classic and a sure-fire winner.
Make sure your loyal wingman is at the ready. The Goose to your Maverick, the Chewbacca to your Han Solo, the, ahmm, Cagney to your Lacey.
Make sure you’re dressed for the occasion. That’s right, take off your Saturday day tank top and throw on your Saturday night tank top. Of course there’s a difference you idiots. Obviously you can tell which particular top this one is:
It’s not just your outfit that needs preparation though, don’t forget to use a bucket-load of gel to hold your hair in place. That updo on top of your head ain’t going to ‘up do’ itself you know.
The tan is an integral part of Don Jon look and, if you’re not catching the necessary rays on your nearest Irish sunny beach, then it looks like it’s going to have to be 14 bottles of St. Tropez instead. Just like these charming young fellows:
The ladies love a smooth man, both in terms of his charm and his sexy, hairless torso, so make sure you’re clean shaven and get rid of the Grizzly Adams, yeah?
Your devastating dance moves will play an integral part in impressing the ladies on a night out, so make sure you leave the Dad moves at home, and focus on the Don moves instead…
If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. And again. And again. And again. We think you get the picture. Girls on a night out love a persistent gentleman. We think.
Actually, no. We may have gotten that one wrong.
Confidence, however, as opposed to persistence, is a definite way of getting into a girl’s good books. And by ‘getting into her good books’ we mean getting into her… well, good books. Why? What did you think we were talking about?
And finally, as any successful Don Jon knows, just be yourself. Unless ‘yourself’ happens to look like this of course:
In that case maybe you’re better off pretending to be somebody else.
So there you have it, Don Jon’s top ten tips for a successful night out on the town. You’re welcome.
Don Jon is released in Irish cinemas Friday 15th November.
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