Here are some foolproof ways to get you out of talking to the canvasser at the door.
You’ve had a long day and there is some dude/dudette in a suit at the door wanting to speak to you. Turns out though that you are not in the mood. You just want to unwind and watch some Netflix, so what do you do?
Buy a red marker: It’s old skool but dab some spots on your face. Answer the door coughing, but shut it quickly while roaring, “Ma, the election lads are at the door, will I give them the sandwiches we were eating earlier?”
Dress up: Open the door wearing a full bee-keeper costume and tell them you are in the middle of a honey harvest with some killer bees from Africa.
Window exit: When the doorbell rings, simply climb out the front window in your jocks and a slice of pizza in one hand and whisper “I like your teeth.” Watch how fast they run far, far away.
Record some Home Alone-style audio: Thanks to Kevin for this one.
When the doorbell ringing, press play on a loud recording of: “Anti-democracy trigger has been initiated. Countdown has begun. 10, 9, 8, 7…….”
Place a plaque: Ensure you strategically position the plaque on the door for all to see. The plaque should simply read, “Vincent Browne lives here”.
Counter canvass: Open the door and hand them leaflets and ask them if they are the owner of the house. They will be confused and will beat a hasty exit.
History lesson: Dress up as Padraig Pearse and ensure you look a bit ghostly. Maybe throw a bit of talcum powder around the cheeks and simply say, “Was it for this that I fought and died?”
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