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06th Oct 2018

Extremely controlling girlfriend creates 22-rule contract for boyfriend to follow

Paul Moore

Boyfriend contract

She needs to chill.

There are a lot of things that you can learn from the Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson film, Wedding Crashers.

For example, we now know that one of the benefits of being a grown man that lives with their mother is an endless supply of Meatloaf.

Aside from this, we also know that rule number one of crashing a wedding is that you never leave a fellow crasher behind, especially when they’re dealing with a stage five clinger.

This being said, things worked out pretty well between Gloria (Isla Fisher) and Jeremy (Vince Vaughn) in that film but we can’t say that the same is true for this real life couple because this dating contract is pretty bonkers.

Ok, here’s the story.

A man traded in his car, and accidentally left a list of relationship ‘rules’ that were written by his girlfriend inside the vehicle.

A Twitter user with the handle @kkeyes96 found this contract and uploaded it onto the social media site, however it went so viral that he was forced to delete the original tweet.

It turns out that people mistakenly thought that the girlfriend in the tweet was his.

Here’s the original photograph along with the breakdown of the rules.

Granted, no person – man or woman – is perfect in a relationship, but if you’ve got this on your plate, you might want to consider heading for the exit door.

This dude must have done something pretty bad to be given ultimatums like this. Then again, maybe he’s just dating a stage five clinger.

Whatever it is, this might just make you appreciate your partner a bit more.

In case that’s too difficult to read, here are the 20 rules in full:

– You are NOT to have a single girls phone number

– You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter)

– You are NOT to hang out with Keegan (including his house or anywhere in public)

– You are NOT to go to Honda without me

– You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week

– You are NOT to look at a single girl

– If girls come up to you at any place or anytime you are to WALK away

– Mo is to NOT hang out [with] us every time we hang out

– You are NOT to ask for head

– You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again

– You are NOT to bring up Tyler, Noah, Deven, or Josh ever again

– You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you

– I am allowed to do a phone check when EVER I please

– If we move in there are NEVER to be girls at our house

– If we move in together your friends will RARELY be allowed over

– If I catch you around girls I kill you

– You are NOT to ditch me for your friends

– Austin does NOT CONTROL WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU!

– We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least

– If I say jump you say “how high princess”

– You are to make sure you tell me you love me once a day at least so I know your not messing around

– You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back

Here’s how we imagine anyone would react to being given this contract.

Topics:

Dating,News