Let Gwyneth tell you where to stick that piping hot cup of coffee.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle website, Goop has long been an easy target for much ridicule. Like Donald Trump, it doesn’t take much to find at least a dozen ridiculous statements made by herself during a Google search alone.
Fortunately, after more than 9 years of making helpful suggestions on how to de-toxify your body, nothing has changed so when recently Goop decided to interview Dr. Alejandro Junger – who is their “go-to on all matters of cleansing and digestive health”.
Fielding questions on the topic of colonics and enemas, Dr. Junger recommended – as a good way of cleaning out that place where the sun doesn’t shine – something known as the Implant O’Rama.
The Implant O’Rama, for the uninformed (or sane, as you will soon come to agree) is described as “a clean way to do coffee enemeas, ozone water enemas, or nutrient implants”. Costing a modest $135, unlike those pesky normal enemas, which react to the acidity of coffee by releasing various toxic chemicals into your behind too, the Implant O’Rama guarantees safety, what with it being made from glass, kynar connectors and silicone tubes.
“This system is completely non-reactive to coffee acids or ozone.”
Coffee has long been used in enemas and colonic irrigations as an alternative cancer therapy and apparently, as a means of stimulating the liver by way of clearing toxins. Both of these claims however have long lacked a strong enough scientific to justify sending a mocha latte up that way, but hey, who needs scientific reason when you have an endorsement from Gwyneth?
When in the past has she been known to peddle dodgy products or dole out advice that we can all immediately relate to?
The answer here is never. What woman hasn’t tried to insert a jade egg into their vagina, or indeed steamed that part of the body? What family on a tight budget wouldn’t agree that a wood burning pizza oven in their back garden was the best investment they ever made? And who didn’t feel like world renowned fashion-designer Stella McCartney gave the best tips on how to live a balanced and sane life?
My thoughts exactly.
Clip via YouTube
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