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Life

26th Dec 2010

How to dump your ISP

Switching internet service providers is a lot like breaking up with a clingy girlfriend. It's never going to be pretty, but this might just help.

JOE

Deciding to switch internet service providers is a lot like breaking up with a clingy girlfriend. You’re forced to fend off Gestapo-like questions about what they did wrong, endure stony silences down the phone (while you’re on hold) and you can’t have the new girl around until the ex arrives to get her shit out of your house.

By Robert Carry

Have you ever dared to switch internet service providers? If you have, you’ll know that negotiating such a perilous journey as the one I’ve just made from Perlico to Eircom, is about as pretty as a Miss Roscommon runner up.

After a string of grossly miscalculated bills, disappearing internet and shocking customer service, I made the decision to make a clean break of it.

A call was put in to Perlico on a snowy Friday morning and after a heinous delay, a representative came on the line.

“I want you to cancel my account,” I said. He didn’t take it well.

After a string of but whys, the rep passed me onto another rep who said they could make the line available to Eircom within 24 to 48 hours. Easier than I thought it would be.

So, Monday rolled around and the call went in to Eircom.

“I cancelled my account with Perlico on Friday so the line should be cleared for you to take over,” I said.

Unfortunately, the line hadn’t been cleared. “The line at your address is still active with another service provider,” said the lady at Eircom. “We can’t set you up with a new account until they’ve cancelled.”

It was a strange scenario. Eircom actually own the landlines and Perlico rent them from Eircom. But because Perlico essentially had a lease on my line, Eircom couldn’t boot them off it.

Another call to Perlico didn’t yield good news. After explaining how I needed them to stop squatting on my line so that Eircom could move in, and pointing out that I was told it would take 24 to 48 hours the previous Friday, another rep said that, sadly, the process could take between five and 10 working days.

“That’s not what I was told on Friday,” I said. “I was told 24 to 48 hours so it really should be done by now.”

“Well, it’s a bit more complicated in your case. You see, your line is LLN.”

“What does LLN mean?”

“It’s a technical term.”

“A technical term for what?”

“Erm, I don’t actually know. I can find out for you though,  if you want to hang on?”

Just as the conversation with the missing link was threatening to boil over into a full blown slanging match, the line went dead. I wouldn’t like to say a Perlico rep would simply hang up on a customer rather than take criticism, but, yunno, that’s probably what happened.

With the snow coming down and internet withdrawal symptoms starting to bite, another call was placed to Perlico that evening. Bizarrely, this time the rep said that the process was a simple one and would be completed within the hour.

Slightly stunned by this new revelation, I decided to give it until the next day before getting back onto Eircom to give them the green light. When I did so, however, the friendly lady informed me that Perlico was still hogging the line.

“Right. They don’t seem to want to hand it over and they keep telling me different stories about how long it will take. What do you think I should do?”

“Well, if you feel you’re being treated unfairly you could always put in a call to Comreg.”

After explaining how Perlico wouldn’t give my line back or give me a straight answer on when they would hand it over, Comreg told me to put in a formal complaint.

I’d heard of this crowd. Being a big fan of Threshold, the Consumer Association of Ireland and other whistle-blowing, flag-waiving, hell-raising groups such as these, I opted to give the Commission for Communications Regulation (Comreg) a shot.

After explaining how Perlico wouldn’t give my line back or give me a straight answer on when they would hand it over, Comreg told me to put in a formal complaint. The rep gave me a Comreg case number and told me to call Perlico back. He said I should stay on the line until they gave me a complaint number, to get the name and details of the person I spoke to and explain that their handling of the issue, the delay and the lack of information, was unacceptable.

I was curious, though, about whether there were any rules or regulations on how long one web provider could squat on a line before being forced to tearfully hand it over to the one you find more attractive.

“There isn’t actually any legislation on this area,” the Comreg rep explained. “The service providers just have an agreement between themselves on how they deal with these transfers.”

This was interesting. It meant that there was no obligation on the service providers to get their arses into gear and get off peoples’ lines when told to do so. And during this period, you’re still their customer – so charges can still apply.

It was time for the ugly showdown with Perlico. The whole sordid tale was explained again, Comreg’s name was dragged into it and a demand for a complaint number was tabled. For good measure, I also queried whether Perlico had a policy of deliberately taking ages to get off peoples’ lines because it meant they could charge for longer.

The new rep explained that there had probably been some confusion about whether I wanted Perlico to cancel the line or to simply make it available to Eircom.

“What’s the difference?” I asked.

“Well, cancelling it takes up to 10 working days. Making it available takes 24 to 48 hours. From the comments on your account, it looks like the guy you spoke to on Friday thought you just wanted to make it available.”

“So has it been made available?”

“Erm, not yet.”

I had recruited a helper at this point to ring Eircom and reps from both companies were on separate lines, being spoken too in different rooms. Perlico’s odd account of the problem was put to Eircom – “Is there a difference between cancelling an account and making the line available?”

“I’ve no idea what they’re talking about,” said the Eircom rep. “They’re still occupying the line – they can get off it as soon as they want to.”

When this information was put to the Perlico rep, the jilted service provider finally decided to dig its nails out of my back and try to find someone new.

“Ok,” said the Perlico rep. “We’ve just made the line available.”

Perlico had instantaneously shown that they could indeed shift off the line whenever they wanted to.

Some positive piece of information popped up on Eircom lady’s screen. When Perlico were confronted with a complaint from Comreg and Eircom’s claim that no delay was necessary, Perlico had instantaneously shown that they could indeed shift off the line whenever they wanted to.

But why would they? They can always bill you for the duration of the mythical 24 to 48 hour delay that turns into a minimum of five to 10 working days depending on who you talk to. 10 working days can mean, in reality, up to 14 days in total when you throw in the two weekends it can cut across. That’s half a month.

Perlico’s packages come in at a range of prices, but let’s say you get charged €55 per month. That’s around €25 quid they can hang onto merely by hitting you with the spurious delay on cancelling your account. It might not seem like much, but according to a recent advertising campaign from Eircom, disgruntled former customers are returning to its moist, welcoming bosom by the thousand per month. Multiply that by 25 and these delays look like a nice little money spinner.

However, as Comreg pointed out, there isn’t any legislation in place to prevent providers from hogging your line long after you’ve told them to sling it and then charging you for the privilege.

So what do you do if you find yourself needing to ditch an internet service provider you can no longer bare to look at?

Keep a log

Take a note of every time you call your ISP – take the name of the person you speak to, and write down the date, time and duration of the call.

Hold them to commitments

If they say something is going to take 24 to 48 hours, then call back within that period to see how things are progressing.

Use Comreg

If you are receiving conflicting information or are suffering delays beyond what you consider reasonable, then a call to Comreg is in order. Comreg staff are friendly, helpful, well-informed and there is no charge. Quoting a case number from Comreg to your ISP is a great way of lighting a fire under them.

Complain

If you’re not happy, call your ISP and tell them you want to put in a formal complaint. Ask them what their timetable is for responding to formal complaints and hold them to it. Make sure to ask for a complaint number and if they say they don’t use that system, make sure to get the name and department of the person you issued to complaint to. This information, along with the date and time, can be used in place of a complaint number in future correspondence.

Taking things further

If you put in a complaint to your ISP and it’s not dealt with within the timetable they promise, then you can get back onto Comreg. From here, Comreg will be going after your ISP for you.

Click here to visit the Comreg website.

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