It’s the second week of JOE and Jameson’s FOMO Emergency Response Guide and, in case you missed it, you can check out our first set of essential tips here.
And what do you mean you don’t know what FOMO means? The acronym stands for ‘Fear Of Missing Out.’
Obviously.
You see? Missing out on the definition of acronyms like FOMO is exactly the sort of craic that will pass you by if you don’t take the opportunity to head out with the lads.
We all have that one mate that secretly and perhaps reluctantly wants to come out, but still needs convincing from you and your band of merry followers.
Arguments like “it’ll be a laugh and a half” just aren’t going to cut it we’re afraid and so, to help your cause, JOE and Jameson will update our FOMO Emergency Response Guide each week, providing you and your brothers-in-arms with tips, suggestions and fail-safe methods in order to get your buddy off his bum and down to the bar.
FOMO Tip Number 3
You’ve already tried JOE’s first two top tips to convince your pal to get dolled up and come out, but he’s still proving reluctant.
Your next move is to remind him that he’s about to miss out on the essential weekly catch up of what everyone’s been up to in the seven days since you’ve all seen each other. And no, we’re not talking about finding out how Steve got on with Tuesday’s PowerPoint presentation on fluctuations in the Stock Market for his branch managers. (Although don’t get us wrong Steve, we do care.)
What we’re really talking about though is proper craic, gossip and scandal. Like what the hell Steve got up to after his PowerPoint presentation on Tuesday with a pineapple, Bon Jovi’s back catalogue and his next door neighbour’s Marigold rubber gloves?
Exactly. Unmissable stuff.
Plus, by not coming out with you and the rest of your mates, he runs the risk of having horrible (and hilarious) rumours made up about him while the rest of you are out in the bar.
FOMO Tip Number 4
Ah, the promise of the guilt-free, post-night out, greasy munch. This is the real reason we all want to go out in the first place, right?
From the moment you’re getting ready in the house and are busy spraying a full can of Lynx Java on top of your favourite check shirt, all you’ve actually been thinking about is tucking into the divine, tasty, unhealthy goodness of a triple cheese bacon burger with four onion rings stuffed into it and smothered in garlic sauce – all at three o’clock in the morning.
If your friend doesn’t come out with you then his culinary conscience will instead force him to prepare a terrible, healthy meal consisting of one toasted slice of avocado, a mini lettuce leaf and all washed down with half a glass of luke warm water.
Tell him to go out, go guilt-free and go greasy.
p.s. it’s also handy to know the address of the nearest hospital for when you all have your inevitable heart attacks.
So there you have it lads, the third and fourth crucial FOMO emergency response suggestions for whenever your forlorn, misguided friend decides to stay in for the night.
You’re welcome.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
