JOE’s Top Sci-Fi Action movie picks: Total Recall

JOE takes a look at the top Sci-Fi Action films ever made, this week it's Total Recall (1990).

By Eoghan Doherty

No, you silly donkey. Not the terribly bad, boring remake starring Colin Farrell that was released last year, but the original 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger cult classic.

Based on the legendary Philip K. Dick’s short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale,” Total Recall went through numerous rewrites and was passed from one production company to another before Arnie eventually purchased the rights and the making of the film became something of a pet project for him.

The first thing Arnie did was bring in sci-fi gore guru Paul Verhoeven after being impressed with the director’s work in RoboCop and he certainly wasn’t disappointed. The Dutchman’s unique touch, along with Jerry Goldsmith’s pulsating, future-synth soundtrack provided the perfect framework for the Austrian Oak to strut his now-classic stuff. Have a listen to Goldsmith’s soundtrack here while reading the article, just to get you in the right frame of Martian mind:

At this point it’s also important to highlight one of the main producers on the film, for no other reason other than the fact that his name is floopin’ amazing. So here’s to producer extraordinaire, Buzz Fetishans.

Right, back to the article.

Schwarzenegger, of course, plays Douglas Quaid, a massively buff construction engineer in 2084 who dreams of living an exciting life on the planet Mars with a mysterious woman. Despite warnings from his co-workers and super-dee-dooper hot wife Lori (Sharon Stone), Quaid decides to visit Rekall, a company that specialises in implanting specific wish-fulfilment memories, including a very desirable secret agent scenario.

Before the memories are implanted, however, Quaid suffers a violent reaction and, believing himself to be a secret resistance fighter known as Hauser, goes on the run to team up with the rebel leader, Kuato.

Hot on his trail is bad-guy Richter (Michael Ironside), who we’ll see at the party later, and his now overly-aggressive wife.

Stone, in what she must undoubtedly consider a career highlight for herself, get’s a brilliant fight scene with Arnie where she gets to punch him right in the Schwarzeneggers. Her greatest moment though is also sadly her demise but, on the plus side, she does allow Arnie to deliver this absolute belter of a line:

Quaid goes on to team up with the elusive woman from his dreams, Melina (Rachel Ticotin), and she leads him through the Martian Red Light District where he bumps into one of the greatest sci-fi characters ever created, Mary the Three-Breasted prostitute. She’s got three breasts don’t you know:

Maybe all ladies in the future will be like this, who knows? Get on it Science.

As with any Arnie film, Total Recall is obviously endlessly quotable, but it’s important to remember that it was also at the forefront of special effects and won a special achievement award for Best Visual Effects at the 1991 Oscars. Why not include a clip that has brilliantly quotable line, “Get ready for a surprise” and an example of the great effects? OK then, we will:

What stands out though is, like all excellent sci-fi films, Total Recall leaves you questioning what the hell just happened in the past hour and a half and is left open and ambiguous. In a good way, obviously.

If you haven’t seen this brilliant adaptation, you’d best take Hauser’s own advice and “GET YO AHSSS TO MAHRS” or your local video-renty-type shop and sit down and enjoy as soon as possible.

For added hilarity, turn on the now infamous DVD commentary featuring director Paul Verhoeven and an incredibly-literal Arnie who essentially describes everything happening onscreen as it happens onscreen.

Oh, and avoid the 2012 completely unnecessary and rubbish remake, starring our own Colin Farrell, the lovely Jessica Biel and the even lovelier Kate Beckinsale. We cannot stress this enough. It’s pants.

NOW, get your ass to Mars

 

Fancy visiting Rekall to create some new memories for yourself? Head over to lynxapollo.com and sign up the Lynx Space Academy, to see if you've got what it takes to go where no Irishman has gone before and launch into space.