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18th Nov 2013

“Martin O’Neill makes me look like Mother Teresa” – JOE and the KC Show bring you our most memorable Press Conferences

Breakdowns, tantrums and... flying dildos?

Eoghan Doherty

With an exciting new era (Eire?) in Irish football beginning under the guidance of Martin O’Neill and Roy Keane, a nation held its breath as both men recently held their first press conferences in their brand new FAI roles.

Both men spoke articulately and passionately about the future of Irish football, while Roy in particular didn’t disappoint and duly delivered some classic Keano quotes to the gathered media during his mid-week press conference. With that in mind, JOE and Today FM’s KC Show decided to look back at a few other memorable press conference moments from years gone by.

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Press conferences are occasions where, most of the time, nothing exciting happens. The person answering questions has most likely been rigorously briefed by ‘their people’, meaning that the possibility of anything interesting or out of the ordinary happening is remote to say the least. However, when that magic unexpected quote/breakdown/hilarious tantrum rears its beautiful head, the fact that there is a room full of journalists and recording equipment present means that we can enjoy these moments for years to come.

We’ve had Russian press conferences invaded by flying dildos, a White House press conference where President Obama rescued a fainting pregnant woman, and even a recent press conference where Levski Sofia fans undressed their new manager after discovering that he actually supported their rivals CSKA Sofia.

We’ll kick proceedings off with Keano’s comedy quotes from mid-week in which the FAI, Ray Houghton and even Mother Theresa come in for some of Roy’s wickedly dry wit…

And it hasn’t been too long since another (very) senior member of the Irish set up was entertaining journalists with his own unique take on footballing matters. Remember everyone, “Be careful the cat…”

We miss you Manuela.

Signore Trapattoni also had a bit more pep in his step when he was managing Bayern Munich back in 1998…

Trap’s not the first footballing man to be slightly cryptic or lost in translation when giving a press conference though. Remember Manchester United’s Eric Cantona from 1995? Crystal Palace fans, and seagulls, certainly will…

There was nothing cryptic about Jose Mourinho’s first press conference as Chelsea manager in 2004 though, as he revealed to everyone exactly what he thought of himself…

The same couldn’t be said for ex-Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez’s rant against Alex Ferguson though, which took a room full of journalists and football fans everywhere completely by surprise. Let’s talk about facts baby…

Whether they were completely understood or not, all of the men mentioned above were admirably speaking English as a second language (and no, of course we’re not including Corkonians in that). There’s nothing more bizarre than an Englishman struggling to speak in his native tongue though. Say “Bonjour” to Monsieur Joey Barton in his first post-match press conference as an Olympique Marseille player…

JB isn’t the only native English speaker to endear himself to the locals by putting on a funny accent. Check out FC Twente’s manager SSShhteve McClaren in the build up to their match againsht the Arshenal…

The hilarity of press conferences isn’t confined to this side of the pond of course, and sporting events in the States have provided us with numerous brilliant moments over the years. Here are some of our favourites starting with NFL Coach Dennis Green after his team, the Arizona Cardinals, were defeated by the Chicago Bears in 2006. We’re not entirely sure but we get the impression that the Bears were who he thought they were…

The living legend that is NBA star LeBron James doesn’t need to worry about getting his words in the right order seeing as he does all of his talking on the basketball court…

Of course LeBron didn’t go to college. You wouldn’t bother going to English class either if you were too busy being a basketball multi-millionaire instead. A much better idea if you ask us.

Recently retired NBA star Allen Iverson was talking about practise in the press conference below… we think.

Almost last, but most certainly not least, is JOE favourite Scoops Callahan, an American lad who brilliantly went around a number of press conferences asking athletes and coaches linguistically challenging questions in the style of a 1920s newspaper reporter. “Champ! Champ!” Check out the comedy conference compilation below:

And finally, although this press conference isn’t sports related like the previous choices, here’s the moment following her Oscar win in January 2013 that you helplessly fell in love with Jennifer Lawrence.

Admit it, you just fell in love with her all over again.

Of course this is just a small selection and there are many, many more memorable press conferences out there but we hoped you enjoyed this collection of chosen ones from JOE and Today FM’s KC Show. Tune in to Today FM every Friday at 1.15pm where JOE will will join KC to bring you more of the funtime Friday funnies…

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Hat-tip to Feargal Logue for his handy press conference tips.