Our new best friend on Gumtree is selling a lifetime supply of bacon

You have to excuse JOE as we wipe the drool off our keyboards...

When JOE was growing up we were always told a few important life lessons that have stood us in good stead. Never trust anyone that doesn't like The Simpsons, when the sign says 'don't feed the bears' then you better not feed the bears and finally bacon makes everything better. Got the flu? Have some bacon. Lost your match? Have some bacon. Split up with your partner? Have some bacon. While we're always slightly skeptical of an offer that appears too good to be true we're still very tempted to call up this Hampshire-based farmer after this genius advert on Gumtree. The transcription reads, "I’Il have the life time supply of bacon, I’m desperate to get rid because I need to shed a few piggies. ‘I know it says it’s free however I would like something in return. ;) Having read this article fully we only have one question. What does this emoticon at the end imply? If all this person wants is a new best friend then we're already mates.  As the philosopher Aristotle once said, "You don't make friends with salad, you make them with bacon". Ron Swanson agrees. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrIeP798hiQ Clip via - benjipwns