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The hipster beard is dead.
It may have taken a while but urban types in skinny jeans are no longer trying to impersonate Polar explorers. Say goodbye to the craze for twirly moustaches and beards that could conceal Shergar.
That’s according to Dr Alun Withey of the University of Exeter, who is working on a study called “Do Beards Matter?”
“Anecdotally I would say that the original ‘hipster’ beard fashion has probably now abated to a great degree,” Dr Withey told JOE. “I think they’ve simply just become a matter of choice for men as to whether they wear a beard or not.”
Does the end of the big beard signal the end of facial fuzz? Are we looking at a future dominated by shiny chins and exposed jawlines? At least we can rely on Chuck Norris to stand firm like he did in the seventies, a single beardy cockroach in the wake of a clean-shaven apocalypse.
Have we reached peak beard?
Sociologists say that men grow beards to appear more attractive to women and more dominant to other males. Or you might just hate shaving. Either way, beards are more popular than ever.
Hygiene concerns killed the beard off in Victorian times but the Millennial beard has even survived scare stories about beards being full of shit. As opposed to the hipsters wearing them, we should stress.
Claims that we’re at “peak beard” have been around for as long as the recent beard revival. That proves you don’t need any qualifications to be a social commentator.
Still, the beard’s current status as a mainstream look may finally be what kills it. How can a beard help you pull if all the lads have one? If everyone and your granny has a beard, there’s only one way to stand out.
If people want to rebel, they’ll need to reach for the razors. It may be for the greater good, even if these kittens need to be rehomed…
To beard or not to beard?
Beards may be about to go the way of mullets and goatees but Dr Whitney has a word of warning.
“It will be interesting to see (as has happened in past centuries) whether any other facial hair styles come in to replace beards, rather than them disappearing entirely,” Dr Whitney added.
So if you can’t grow a proper beard and you’re celebrating the death of an unattainable fashion craze, be careful what you wish for. This guy and his concealed upper lip could be the future.
If you are planning to get rid of the beard, try the new Tesco Triple Blade razor. Boasting a high-quality design and build, it can also accommodate Gillette Mach 3* blades for a fraction of the price. Save 33% on the razor and blades until 7 July, 2017, meaning you could pick up four blades for less than €6. For more information, check out their website.
* This product is not manufactured or distributed by The Gillette Company LLC. Gillette and Mach3 are registered trademarks of The Gillette Company LLC.
Brought to you by Tesco.
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