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07th Jan 2016

PIC: A very mouldy pizza led to this hilarious Tesco customer complaint

Nooruddean Choudry

Each generation has its own quote for the ages.

Who can forget Franklin D. Roosevelt’s enigmatic, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Or Nelson Mandela’s inspiring, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

Now our generation has its own ‘One small step for man…’ moment, and it will echo for eternity as a concise but poignant statement of our time: “Linda do you fucking have eyes?”

These six words that say so much about the human condition were scribed by Luke Mitchell, from Billericay, Essex. This is how they came to the public consciousness.

Mitchell was mortified when he discovered that a pizza he had bought from Tesco – with a best before date of July 2016 – was covered in huge amounts of mould.

Of course he brought it to the supermarket’s attention via Twitter.

A member of Tesco’s customer complaints department duly got back to Luke about his truly disgusting discovery, but the response was odd to say the least. Enter ‘Linda’. She replied, cheerily:

‘Hi Luke! I’m sorry to ask, but what seems to be the problem with this product, please? Kind regards – Linda’

Now Luke is a reasonable man. He didn’t go off the handle with his original query (many would) but instead politely brought to the attention of large corporation that prides itself on quality produce at affordable prices.

But out of sheer exasperation, he could only muster the following words…

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“Linda do you fucking have eyes” – indeed.

Eventually Tesco responded to Luke’s legitimate follow-up query, this time in the guise of Charlotte…

But what of Linda? Was she banished to Tesco purgatory, or simply asked to visit her local optician? We don’t know. But we hope she realises her contribution to the statement of our time.


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