Search icon


04th Nov 2015

Posh magazine publishes a guide to being a modern gentleman, some of the points are feckin’ hilarious


Paul Moore


According to Tyler Durden it’s fairly easy to define the modern man.

You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f**king khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Golly gosh Mister Durden.

Fight Club (1999)Edward Norton and Brad Pitt(Screengrab)

If you were asked to describe masculinity in the modern era then that epic speech might make you feel as confused as a beaver in a tent . Thank god for the clearly privately-schooled folk at Country Life though because they’re here to clear up any lingering doubts.

Listen intently old bean because those good ‘auld chaps have a rather funny list and it’s a jolly good show.

You may think that some of these are poppycock but to that we say, pip pip.

How many of these apply to you?

Negotiates airports with ease

Never lets a door slam in someone’s face

Says his name when being introduced

Im Ron

Can train a dog and a rose

Is aware that facial hair is temporary, but a tattoo is permanent

Knows when not to say anything


Wears his learning lightly

Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes

Has two tricks to entertain children

Scary Clown

Turns his mobile phone to silent at dinner

Carries house guests’ luggage to their rooms

Possesses at least one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit, and a dinner jacket


Is unafraid to speak the truth

Knows when to clap

Breaks a relationship face to face


Tips staff in a private house and a gamekeeper

Arrives at a meeting five minutes before the agreed time

Is not vegetarian

Ron meat

Is good with waiters

Sings lustily in church

Can sail a boat and ride a horse

On a boat

Can undo a bra with one hand

Knows the difference between Glenfiddich and Glenda Jackson

Never kisses and tells

Sex Tell


Cooks an omelette to die for

Seeks out his hostess at a party

Can prepare a one-match bonfire


Knows when to use an emoji

Would never own a Chihuahua

Knows the difference between a rook and a crow


Has read Pride and Prejudice

Can tie his own bow tie

Swats flies and rescues spiders

Spiders Always Sunny

Would not go to Puerto Rico

Wears a rose, not a carnation

Sandals? No. Never


Never blow dries his hair

Knows that there is always an exception to a rule

Demonstrates that making love is neither a race nor a competition

Swiss Toni