Proof that your movie is a huge success? Dildos
The alternative title of Grinding Nemo makes more sense than ever.
Congratulations to The Shape Of Water on winning four Oscars this year, including those for Best Picture and Best Director, but we feel that in years to come, this will not be the major talking point of the movie's success.
The movie, which was produced for reportedly as little as $15 million, and at the time of writing has made over $125 million at the global box office, could certainly measure its success in those terms, but it is becoming more and more clear that the primary way to judge if a movie is a cultural hit is... well... how do we put this?
If there are dildos based on the movie.
This is it guys! Closing in on our drop date for the Shape of Water inspired toys! 10-15 toys will be available January 15th! Reel in your Lover today! Color name is called “Jewel of the Amazon” #tsow #nsfw #TheShapeofWater #dildo #inspired pic.twitter.com/CyxJFUfXjB
— XenoCat Artifacts (@XenocatArtifact) January 9, 2018
The movie's director Guillermo Del Toro has been made aware of these, and referred to them as "inaccurate" and "fan-fiction", while telling The Wrap that "I'm sure Dunkirk doesn't have this problem."
Additionally, Doug Jones - the actor on whom the fish-man appendage is, uhm, based? - added "After pouring my heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into this romantic, beautiful, magical role, the last thing I want to be remembered for is a silicone appendage that comes in two sizes."
However, following The Shape Of Water's Oscar wins, the folk at XenoCat Artifacts reported that their entire new batch of fish-man dildos have already sold out, so the movie has officially become something of a cultural phenomenon.
It can now join the likes of Twilight which went on to inspire sparkly, ice cold dildos, or Avatar which helped spur on the creation of the Avatar-themed, and blue-coloured (obviously) flesh-light, or the Harry Potter-y wand-shaped dildo (which, really, isn't how a wand should be used) in the selected pantheon of movies that have had such a profound effect on their viewers that the only correct course of action for them to take was to create some sex-toys.
MO SALAH'S GOING HOME, THANKS A LOT SERGIO RAMOS...
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