And no, we don't mean a narwhal.
Beaches in the city of Brest, north-west France, have suspended swimming after it became clear that a randy bottlenose dolphin is trying to engage in relations with the locals.
The dolphin has been given the name Zafar by the public, and was interacting with swimmers and kayakers in an acceptable way at first — before things took an inappropriate turn.
Zafar has since thrown kayakers into the sea and attempted to stop a woman from returning to the shore.
As such, the Mayor of Brest, has banned swimming and diving wherever the Dolphin might be. It's three meters long, and is capable of doing serious accidental damage with its tail fin.
According to the
BBC, Breton lawyer Erwan Le Cornec has referred to the restrictions as unnecessarily strict, asking "How many accidents have there been with a dolphin in Finistère since our two species existed? None."
Which might just be the most "famous last words" thing anyone could possibly say in a situation like this.
