The funniest one-liners from Edinburgh fringe have been revealed
Might be whipping some of these out later in the day...
Whether they make you emit snuffles of snorty laughter or cringe into a hedgehog when you hear them, one-liner gags are firm favourites of the comedy circle and the much maligned sitcoms of the 90s.
The winner of the Dave channel's funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe competition, was awarded to Masai Graham. Graham was runner up in 2015 and came fourth in 2014, so we can imagine he is feeling pretty snazzy with this golden accolade.
The jokes only make the cut if they are considered 'clean' so you might notice the absence of darker, blacker comedy from the list.
The top 10 are as follows;
(A drumroll is now playing in your head.)
1. “My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.” -Masai Graham
2. “Why is it old people say ‘there’s no place like home’, yet when you put them in one …” - Stuart Mitchell
3. “I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10.” - Mark Watson
4. “Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.” - Mark Smith
5. “I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn’t much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer … came second.” - Will Duggan
6. “Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” - Tiff Stevenson
7. “I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.” - Gary Delaney
8. “Why is Henry’s wife covered in tooth marks? Because he’s Tudor.” - Adele Cliff
9. “Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?” - Annie McGrath
10. “Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.” - Jordan Brookes
There's enough fresh material here to last us the week.