These are the Top 10 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
The world's biggest arts festival is almost over for another year.
Darren Walsh is a funny fecker... well, he is based on this one pun-tastic joke anyway.
The comedian has won the award for the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, but believes that the winning one-liner isn't even the funniest joke from his full-length show, the superbly-titled Punderbolt.
Speaking to The Independent, Walsh said, “it’s great and I wasn’t expecting it so it’s a real surprise. The award seems to be gaining traction. People are maybe appreciating one-liners and puns a bit more.”
He reckons the following two jokes are even better than the top titter below though; “My cat is recovering from a massive stroke” and “Green men make me cross”.
We're stealing both of these.
Here are the Top 10 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival:
1: Darren Walsh: “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans-free.”
2: Stewart Francis: “Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse... but enough about Kanye West.”
3: Adam Hess: “Surely every car is a people carrier?”
4: Masai Graham: “What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.”
5: Dave Green: “If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go.”
6: Mark Nelson: “Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.”
7: Tom Parry: “Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day.”
=8: Alun Cochrane: “The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.”
=8: Simon Munnery: “Clowns divorce. Custardy battle.”
10: Grace The Child: “They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for...”
You can also check out the Top 10 jokes from Festival, as judged by The Guardian, by clicking here.