Fred Cooke has quite an unusual take on things.
With that in mind, we thought the comedian from Kells was the perfect man to spin our Tombola of Truth and spill his guts on some of the most personal, hard-hitting questions fate could throw his way.
Cooke ended up bearing his soul to us - telling us who he'd slap with a fish if given the chance, why he'd send Michael Collins to the moon, and whether he believes there's life on other planets.
What's a song that gets you fired up?
Just Good Friends by Michael Jackson.
Do you think there is life on other planets?
100% yes - I've been to Leitrim.
What's your karaoke song?
Earth Song by Michael Jackson.
What do you think could make you rich?
Being sound (almost too sound).
What's the funniest thing anyone has ever said to you?
"Zac Efron?!" What are you doing in Dublin?
Weirdest dream you've ever had?
I had a dream that I had to repeat the Leaving Cert, and PE was the exam. Question 1 was did you bring your gear in? And I didn't have it so I wasn't allowed to sit the exam.
Worst chat-up line?
Were you five years behind me in school? When I repeated the Leaving Cert in the all-girls school in Kells.
I’ve just given you a gigantic cod fish, you can slap anyone you like in the world with it, who do you pick?
Karl Spain, because he’s an incredibly funny slagger and I can’t retaliate quickly enough.
What's your worst habit?
Checking Facebook 10 seconds after logging out.
Who would play you in a biopic?
Zac Efron - but he needs to start working out.
If you could change one law what would it be?
You know when you’re buying tickets for a gig online and just before you give your credit card information, you have to prove you’re not a robot? Well I think there should be a new law that allows robots to go gigs just the rest of us!
Who is your doppelganger?
Zac Efron, if he starts working out.
If you could send one person to the moon, who would it be?
Michael Collins. Not only did he do so much for Ireland, but he deserved to be let off that shuttle to walk on the moon.
Maltesers is asking people to tag who craic’s you up on Facebook or Twitter and you will be entered into the daily draw to win one of a host of prizes which include tickets to the Craic Up Comedy Night on June 10th, or the ultimate prize of a trip to the home of comedy the Edinburgh Festival Fringe 5th–29th August 2016.
