“If you mess that song up on that altar, I’ll go up and f**king beat you over the head with the guitar myself.”
Not quite the reassuring pep talk you want just before you get ready to perform for a family member’s special day.
Weddings are stressful enough occasions without some joker playing a prank en route to said event, but then maybe that’s part of the fun.
At least you have to imagine that was the thought process of Gerard Kelly, who livened up the car journey to Wexford with his mother with an inspired gag.
Gerard was set to perform Chris de Burgh slow jam ‘In A Country Churchyard’ at his cousin’s wedding over the weekend, only he forgot the words.
At least that’s what he told his increasingly exasperated mother, who was quick to pitch in with a few choice words of her own.
What follows is a song breakdown quite unlike the kind you get on the likes of Song Exploder as Gerard’s mam – who has a top singing voice, it must be said – strains to explain the lyrics as her son makes a right disaster of it.
You’ll never think of turtle doves singing in the steeple of a church the same way again…
“From the steeple! They’re up there singing down! You’re as thick as anything,” the poor woman laments.
In the end, once the act was dropped, the wedding went off in fine style, even though it seemed like Gerard’s mother had briefly lost her way on the road.
“Ah yeah, I was perfect with it,” Gerard tells JOE.
“I just wanted to wind her up because she was getting tense on the journey.”
And how has his mam reacted to viral fame since?
“She’s shocked!” laughs Gerard.
“But she’s delighted that it’s making people laugh.”
Thanks to Gerard Kelly for sending this in.
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