Wearing skinny jeans can be very bad for your health, apparently

Thankfully, we wouldn't know fashion if it stood up, gave us a secret handshake, rolled us a funny looking cigarette and grew us a beard.

Wearing skinny jeans can damage your health, according to a report in the Mirror. Unnamed medical experts say that excessive movement while wearing the crotch hugging legwear can harm nerves and muscle fibres in the legs and feet. A report in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry detailed how one unlucky woman had to be hospitalised for four days after she was cut out of her skinny jeans. She had helped a relative move house the day before and spent many hours squatting while emptying boxes and moving furniture about the place. What do we learn from this? Never. Help. Anyone. “Her calves were so swollen that her jeans had to be cut off her," the report said. The fashion victim had been found on her floor, unable to move, having developed compartment syndrome, which sounds like zero craic. “She couldn’t move her ankles or toes properly and had lost feeling in her lower legs and feet. “Investigations revealed she had damaged muscle and nerve fibres in her lower legs as a result of prolonged compression while squatting which her tight jeans had made worse, the doctors suggest.”