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Life

11th Feb 2014

What NOT to buy for someone this Valentine’s Day, No 5: A bowling ball

While we live much of the rest of our lives by the word of Homer Simpson, romance is not his area of expertise.

JOE

While we live much of the rest of our lives by the word of Homer Simpson, romance is not his area of expertise.

We all love Homer Simpson, of that there is no doubt. His words of wisdom have helped to guide us through many of life’s most stressful and important situations, from the Leaving Cert exams to job interviews, but when it comes to buying Valentine’s gifts, he’s not your man.

He’s had a few truly terrible ideas, and we’ve decided that, just in case you needed to be told for some reason, that you shouldn’t follow his lead and buy a Valentine’s gift of a bowling ball this year. Yes, we all enjoy the odd game of bowling, but unless you’re on the lanes every week or you’re buying a gift for ‘The Dude’ himself from The Big Lebowski, then a bowling ball is not a very good idea.

Should your other half be a bowellist/bowler/bowlite then this could end up being a thoughtful present, however we should advise that you do not, repeat do not get your own name engraved on the ball, just like Homer did.

homer bowling ball

As you can tell from Marge’s expression, she’s not best pleased, but in this particular episode of the show she did end up taking bowling lessons just to spite her husband. Your gift for that someone special in your life should bring about joy and romance; it should most definitely not inspire spite.

If you do want to get that special someone in your life into the sport that you love, there are better ways (and better days) to do it, so on Valentine’s Day this year just go for a gift that they’re going to really love. And no, they will not be really surprised if you get them an ironing board cover.

If you are in the market to buy someone something this year, make sure you throw in some Haagen Dazs ice cream to sweeten the deal. You can thank us later.

This editorial is brought to you by Haagen Dazs. For more information on Haagen Dazs, please check out their Facebook page here.

Haagen Dazs Vanilla