They make us more feel awkward than a loud fart in the middle of mass.
The Irish people can claim to be world leaders in a number of fields, but one in which we are the undisputed number one is our absolute inability to take a compliment.
Role models like Conor McGregor have ensured that self-confidence is on the up in this country, but humility is still a valued trait, mostly because thinking a lot/having notions of oneself remains probably the worst accusation that can be levelled at an Irish person.
That and the suggestion you left the immersion on, of course.
Some compliments are more likely to provoke awkward conversation than others and if we’ve missed any glaring ones below, feel free to let us know via the usual channels.
1. “You’re looking well”
Simple and well-meaning, yet all it causes is acute embarrassment for the recipient.
Or paranoia because the person paying you the compliment must be implying you looked terrible the last time you met.
2. “Have you lost weight?”
They know it, you know it and everyone knows it, but the mere mention of it makes everyone painfully aware of the fact that there was weight there to lose in the first place.
Some things are best left unsaid.
3. “You’ve a great colour, were you away?”
You’ve just come back from a three-week, all-inclusive trip to Mexico and are browner than a group of Irish twenty-something ladies who have overdone it on the fake tan.
Admitting that to a friend or neighbour, however, will elicit conversations that involve the phrase “Isn’t it well for them?” or have gossips questioning how you could possibly have pulled together the money to finance such a trip.
Best just shrug nervously and put it down to a few days of hard labour in the bog.
4. “That was a lovely dinner.”
Pfft, it was just something I threw together*
*Spent eight hours slaving over a hot stove, scalding myself numerous times, burning two fingers, causing a mini-fire in the kitchen and repeatedly questioning my sanity and will to live.
5. “You played well today.”
A common compliment paid by a player to a teammate after a match, particularly in the GAA, it is usually delivered in the hope that it will be returned immediately, which it is in 99% of cases, regardless of whether it’s true or not.
A far more awkward conversation tends to occur when the issue of which individuals played badly is brought up, although the guilty parties will rarely, if ever, be told to their face.
By far the safest way to avoid any discomfort is to pre-empt the conversation with the lesser-heard and ultimately confusing line, “I played well, how did you play?”
6. “That fine young thing is your mother?”
No explanation required.
7. “That’s a nice shirt/jumper/jacket/any item of clothing.”
“This old thing? I’m only after finding it this evening because the mother was about to throw it out.”
8. “That’s your sister? Wow.”
Even less of an explanation required.
9. Compliments for a favour that required professional expertise at an unsociable hour
Whatever about thanking an Irish person for taking time out of their busy schedule to fix your washing machine at their own expense during out of work hours, offering them money for their services will only anger the elephant in the room.
Cue repeated mentions of the word ‘No’ followed by an agreement to buy them a pint the next time you see them out.
10. “Thanks for bringing me to this lovely restaurant. Now I’m paying.”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
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