Sponsored by easytrip
Who is the center of your universe?
It should be a human being but for some of us it’s a metal box.
1. You don’t remember your partner’s birthday. Or their name.
“September? October? It’s in the second half of the year. And as for the name, please. I know their name. Starts with an A. Annie? No. Or an E. Ennie? Not that either. It definitely starts with a vowel.”
2. You can recall your car’s license and factory serial number.
“Well that’s just good information to have on hand in case of emergency.”
3. You refer to your car as your soulmate.
“Just because it’s inanimate doesn’t mean we don’t have a deep and meaningful connection. The car’s just always been there for me. Unlike whatstheirname.”
4. You frequently tell your partner, “Why can’t you be more like the car?”
“I can’t drive you to work. I can’t wash you on a Sunday. You don’t have a stereo. What are you good for?”
5. You have a picture of your car in your wallet.
“There it is, that’s my baby. No. Not the blonde one. The red one with the four wheels.”
6. Your children (whom you have no relationship with) are named after the car.
“They hate me for it but if they turn out to be one-tenth as charming or reliable as that car then the world will be their oyster.”
7. You buy your car presents, often at the expense of your family eating.
“So what if I commissioned a massive dressing gown for the car and now the bank says we’re broke? You try living in that cold garage and tell me you wouldn’t appreciate some extra layers.”
8. You sleep in your car.
“It’s the only place I feel safe.”
9. You throw your partner out of the car for making the car jealous.
“It’s nothing against you, it’s just you can be a bit shrill sometimes and that makes the car edgy.”
Sponsored by easytrip
Skip the queue and take the express lane on all toll roads and save €1 on your M50 journey. Parking fees? No need for cash as your fee is automatically paid through your tag. For more information click here.
