The 10 best insults from the first two seasons of Succession 1 month ago

The 10 best insults from the first two seasons of Succession

Twenty episodes across two seasons have resulted in hundreds of amazing insults. These are the ten best.

There are many, many reasons to love the show Succession.


Between the amazing performances, intelligent scripts, gorgeous direction, THAT opening music... there is just so much to enjoy, but let us be honest, one of the true highlights are the incredible insults that are flung left, right and centre throughout.

We're already very excited for the arrival of the third season of Succession, which is guaranteed to feature plenty of immediately quotable ways to verbally abuse you friends and loved ones.

The first episode of the new season will debut on NOW on Monday, 18 October...

Clip via NOW

To celebrate the return of the best show on TV right now (don't @ me, it is a fact), we've combed through the first two seasons and listed the ten best insults to date, starting with...

10. Ewan to Logan: "The 'Logan Roy School of Journalism?' What’s next, the 'Jack the Ripper Women's Health Clinic'?"


Pretty much nobody speaks to Logan with anything but hushed awe, so to hear his estranged brother absolutely GO IN comes as a bit of a shock. Plus, as Logan's company is being accused of being a bit manipulative AND a potentially dangerous place for women to work, this comes as a double-edged insult.

9. Roman to Kendall: "What I think he meant to say was that he wished Mom gave birth to a can opener because at least then it would be useful."

Roman has always been good with a one-liner, but there is something hilarious about the bluntness of this verbal assault. Kendall just takes it, knowing there is no way to retaliate.

8. Connor to Gil: "I look at your face and, no offence, but I see dead babies."

As the outside brother, Connor is usually pretty lowkey when it comes to actually offending anyone. But if there is anyone in the world who will stir up his inner Roy, then it is a politician, which is exactly why Gil is thwacked with this one.


7. Logan to ... his house?: "It smells like the cheese monger died and left his dick in the brie."

After inviting the family back to one of his many, many huge estates, they arrive to find the house is absolutely rancid. The source of the smell is discovered later in the episode, but nobody ever tops Logan's colourful description of the aroma.

6. Roman to Stewy: "You look like a dildo dipped in beard trimmings."

Kendall's sorta-friend Stewy has never been high on the Christmas Card list within the Roy family, so when given the opportunity, Roman lets him have it with both insulting barrels.


5. Logan to Kendall: "You … are … a … fucking … idiot."

Pretty basic, as insults go, but it is loaded with all of the emotional weight of their unique father-son dynamic, with Kendall convinced he has literally just saved the entire company, and his father thinking differently.

4. Tom to Shiv: "I wonder if the sad I'd be without you would be less than the sad I get from being with you."

Talk about emotional weight, there is something about the sadness of this honesty from Tom that absolutely breaks your heart. And it clearly has a huge impact on Shiv too, who usually manages to brush everything and everyone off, but Tom's remarks here clearly cut her to the bone.


3. Marcia to Shiv: "I know when I see a spoiled slut."

An absolutely gasp-inducing interaction, and in the middle of a big party!

2. Tom to Greg: "You can't make a Tomelette without breaking some Greggs."

Tom sent this email 67 times in one night. It doesn't necessarily make too much sense, but when it comes to Tom and Greg's relationship, none of it makes sense. But we can't help but love the pure wordplay of it all.

1. Logan to Everyone: "Fuck off!"

Nobody says these words quite like Logan Roy, and we love him for that.

Clip via S.L.