Putting the choose into the Chooseday.
You guys… you guys, we’re not gonna lie.
You might be better off doing something else this evening, because today’s picks… well, they’re not great.
You might find some accidental fun in some of them, and they’re not ALL bad, but let us just say that this isn’t the greatest collection movies we’ve ever seen…
TUESDAY 8 JANUARY
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets – ITV2 – 5.50pm
The worst one, right? Aside from Kenneth Branagh bringing the swarmy cheese, this is definitely the least good of the series, yeah? Even at that, it is still better than any of the Divergent movies.
The Core – FilmFour – 6.20pm
Aaron Eckhart, Stanley Tucci, Hilary Swank and a few others are taking a ride to the centre of the Earth in order to kick-start it’s core, otherwise we’re all gonna die quite horribly. One of the worst disaster movies ever made, so bad that it swings back around to being very fun.
Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery – Comedy Central – 9.00pm
The first of the trilogy (or should that be quadrilogy?) sees Mike Myers and Elizabeth Hurley attempting to stop the nefarious Dr. Evil (also Myers) from holding the world to the ransom of… one meeeeeeelion dollars!
48 HRS – TCM – 9.00pm
Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte team up as a convict and a cop who are trying to catch some cop-killers. It is pretty much the granddaddy of “buddy cop” movies, leading on to the likes of Lethal Weapon and Rush Hour.
Sudden Death – ITV4 – 10.00pm
Arguably the best of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s movies (damning with faint praise?), which is also basically Die Hard-in-an-ice-rink, as he plays a Dad trying to save his son after a big ice hockey game is taken hostage, and only JCVD and his high-kicks can save the day!
Black Hawk Down – Syfy – 11.10pm
Low-key one of the greatest casts in any movie ever (seriously), although we’re not fully sure why this epic, based-on-a-true-story war movie is on the Syfy channel…
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
