“I got these cheeeeeeeseburgers here man…”
JOE has a diverse range of film tastes and, while this is traditionally the time of year when lots of dramatic, moving and well-acted Oscar-bait films are being released, there’s no denying the appeal of a stupid but hilarious comedy.
Before the Wayans brothers got really annoying, they made one of the 1990’s most stoooooopid films, Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood.
The film is incredibly dumb, but it’s still great fun to watch with your brain turned off which is why it’s come to encapsulate the very definition of a cult classic.
Here are some very important life lessons we learned from watching it. Repeatedly.
It all goes downhill after you turn 21
We vividly remember our 21st birthday party. The year was 1937 and we had our first dance – the hucklebuck – with that girl we had our eye on, although the priest who was chaperoning the event eventually split us up.
21sts in the hood are a little bit different though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUZvO36zm6Y
It’s possible to be older than your own dad
We will openly admit that our parents have cut our hair before ,but we trusted them because they’re older and more responsible than us.
The exact opposite of this scene then…
Some church folk are as crooked as a barrel of snakes
We wish that our Sunday mass featured a rampantly corrupt preacher and a break-dancing granny. Some day, some day.
Grannies are tougher than we thought
While we don’t advise any of our readers to go out and try to knock out your own grandmother, this scene is just so inappropriate and weird at the same time.
There are some interesting ways to get a girl’s number…
We wonder if she ever called back?
There’s more to a name than you know
The Urban Dictionary definition of the name JOE is “a man’s name. A shortened version of the name Joseph. Simply the greatest name ever. Only the smartest. most athletic, best looking, coolest and all round greatest guys are called Joe.”
We have no idea what these names mean.
Always have a good plan
Most people are content to work hard, pay their dues and kiss some ass in order to climb the corporate ladder.
Then again, you can also just copy this plan.
Cheeseburgers are the best way to make friends
We really hope that cheeseburgers will become an acceptable form of currency here in Ireland. That being said, it’s probably best to not follow up this initial offer with the suggestion of indulging in some extreme man-love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lU8rIXSLiQ
A stranger is just a friend that you haven’t met yet
We love that the name of the prison is called the Rick James penitentiary (that Dave Chapelle skit is still incredible) but the punchline in this clip still makes us laugh.
Prisoners find it hard re-entering normal society
Toothpick is the villain of the film, but we blame the prison system for not changing his ways. That and the media, it’s always the media’s fault.
No good can ever come from ethnic stereotyping
JOE also gets harassed in the same way whenever we enter our local supermarket.
They’ll never forget that we took one too many jellies in our Pick ‘n Mix selection back in June ’97.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5Hsf-0B-Eo
If you’re going to die then do it in a memorable way
Blaze of glory, go down swinging or rely on a granny wielding an Uzi.
All great choices.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
