The force is strong in Ireland…
Star Wars fans are eagerly awaiting the release of The Force Awakens but even if you’re a newcomer to the galaxy that’s far, far away, there’s a strong Irish angle to J.J Abrams’ latest adventure.
Skellig Michael will feature in the blockbuster and this has got us thinking, what other Irish locations would be used if Star Wars was set in Ireland.
Coppers – Mos Eisley Cantina
Let’s face it, all of us have been to a nightclub in Ireland where we had absolutely no idea what to expect upon arriving.
Strange bands playing, people fighting and some poor lad (like Luke Skywalker) who looks hopelessly out of his depth while complete and utter carnage unfolds around them.
Kilkenny – The Death Star
Lets be clear, we have absolutely nothing against the county but here’s our argument.
We always had the impression that every single child in Kilkenny, much like stormtroopers in Attack of the Clones, were raised with the sole purpose of being hurlers for the senior squad. An endless supply line of talented, skilled and ruthless winning machines.
Every hurler is trained, drilled and coached with a single purpose in mind, to destroy any rebellion that dares spring up against their hurling empire.
In recent years Tipperary and Dublin, much like Luke Skywalker in Episode IV when he destroyed the Death Star, have toppled Darth Cody’s men but their victory was very brief.
The cats always strike back.
Birr – Hoth
Birrrrrrrrrrrr it’s sooooooo cooooooold.
Ok, maybe it’s not the coldest place in Ireland but that name was too good not to use. As for the actual coldest place in Ireland, we’re thinking Sligo or Mayo.
The Bog of Allen – The asteroid in Empire Strikes Back
Meath, Offaly and Kildare have some absolutely beautiful places to see but quite frankly, we would rather be living on an asteroid in space with Chewbacca constantly moaning at us before we spend a single minute in this bog.
Like the asteroid, the bog is a piece of inhospitable land where lots of different things, that would normally never survive elsewhere. We wouldn’t be surprised to discover a gigantic spaceship eating worm. It could happen.
Any ghost estate near Cavan, Longford or Roscommon – Alderaan
There was supposed to be life in this place but there isn’t anymore. Those evil empires of the bankers, builders and the government have made sure of that.
Much like Princess Leia, Irish people are far too trusting. This makes us laugh though.
Clip via – Jake Stohr
Galway – Bespin
Because it’s always cloudy in Galway. Always.
Valentia, Kerry – Kamino
Because it always rains here. Always.
Portobello, Dublin – Kashyyk
Much like Chewbacca’s home planet, this area in Dublin 8 is a popular area for many hair and tall bearded men.
Just like Chewie when he speaks, we’ve also got no idea what the hell they are talking about in their secret hipster jibberish language.
Wicklow – Endor
Wicklow is known as the garden county because it has loads of lovely trees, greenery and little furry creatures.It remains unconfirmed if Ewoks have been spotted terrorising the townspeople of Bray though.
Much like Katie Taylor, when she made the whole of Ireland ecstatic by winning Olympic gold, the Ewoks also played an important role in helping to unite the galaxy in euphoria.
Cork – The Rebel Base
Where else in Ireland could provide a home for the Rebel Alliance apart from the Rebel County?
Cork has also provided its fair share of inspirational leaders down the years like; Michael Collins, Roy Keane and Admiral Ackbar (we spotted him at the fish market once)
Dublin – Coruscant
Much like the main planet in the Star Wars universe, ‘the big smoke’ is a brimming metropolis and is home to Ireland’s own version of the Jedi Temple – the Garda head office – and on the surface, life appearers to be quite idyllic and peaceful.
Be warned though; this is also where the Galactic Senate, or the Dail as we call it, is located along with some of out most evil and tyrannical banking institutions that have ruled their empire with a fiscal iron fist.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
