You know why you’re here.
You know why we’re all here.
Not in the cosmic, ‘What is life really about?’ sense, but in the ‘Here’s a bunch of movies worth checking out on TV tonight for one reason or another’ sense.
It ain’t complicated.
Here’s the most intriguing cinematic options on the box tonight – Saturday 13 April.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – ITV2 – 5.50pm
The journey to rid oneself of unwanted jewellery continues apace.
Thunderball – ITV4 – 7.35pm
Vintage 007 action.
The Happening – SyFy – 9pm
So bad it’s brilliant.
Tango & Cash – TCM – 9pm
Grimy throwback mismatch buddy cop thriller featuring Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell and a ham-chewing turn from the late Jack Palance.
Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation – Film 4 – 9pm
The one that brought both Rebecca Ferguson and Sean Harris into the mix.
Interstellar – RTÉ 2 – 9.10pm
Christopher Nolan goes to space and yields maybe the finest performance of Matthew McConaughey’s career in the process.
As with most Nolan joints, this one is a touch too long and loses the run of itself before the credits arrive, but it’s well worth a revisit and Hans Zimmer’s soundtrack is sublime.
RED – Channel 4 – 10pm
Fun enough action-comedy that lets some veteran talent like Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman and John Malkovich get in on murderous antics alongside Bruce Willis.
Zero Dark Thirty – ITV – 10.35pm
Jessica Chastain – who also pops up in Interstellar – is seriously compelling as the CIA analyst who embarks on a mission of obsession to bring down Osama Bin Laden.
Assassins – TCM – 11.10pm
Stallone again, this time as an assassin (you never would have guessed, eh?) who goes up against rival hitman Antonio Banderas, who gave the world this meme:
John Carter – BBC Two – 12.00am
One of modern cinema’s most fascinating flops. This thing was supposed to launch a franchise and turn Friday Night Lights man Taylor Kitsch into an A-list player.
It did neither. But, honestly, it’s not that bad…
Sing Street – Channel 4 – 12.10am
Rip-roaring Irish coming of age tale that boasts a fittingly great musical identity.
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