The weekend’s alright for movies.
Generally speaking, anyway.
Most TV stations view the weekend as a good chance to kill a few hours with some good movies that suspiciously don’t appear midweek.
What is this phenomenon? Is it even scientifically accurate? Who knows.
What we do know is your options on the box tonight, Saturday 23 March…
Captain America: The First Avenger – Film 4 – 6.25pm
The best Marvel movie, in this writer’s view, and the 18th best according to our own Rory Cashin and his big MCU rankings piece that’s well worth a read.
Die Another Day – RTÉ 2 – 7.35pm
Stealing in right after Mick McCarthy’s boys in green batter Gibraltar (don’t @ us if that doesn’t happen) is the most insane James Bond adventure of all time.
An invisible car, a henchman with diamonds in his face, a villain with a robot death-suit, Halle Berry attempting to launch a spin-off character, another henchman named ‘Mr Kill’, a dodgy Madonna cameo and even dodgier theme tune, Pierce Brosnan briefly resembling Charles Manson… this one has it all.
Spectre – ITV2 – 8pm
The most recent Bond outing, on the other hand, is way too serious for its own good. Still, Dave Bautista’s unstoppable mute bruiser is reason enough to flick over.
Warcraft – Channel 4 – 8pm
Duncan Jones takes on the wildly popular MMORPG that is World of Warcraft and receives much hatred in the process.
Honestly? Warcraft is a perfectly fine fantasy offering, with Toby Kebbel once again excelling in giving an entirely CGI character life and pathos.
Red Eye – Virgin Media Two – 9pm
Cillian Murphy’s charming hitman faces off with Rachel McAdams at 35,000 feet in this zippy, enjoyable thriller.
Speed – E4 – 9pm
Keanu Reeves and the bus that couldn’t slow down. The sequel is on the same channel right after but you won’t want to bother with that.
The Running Man – SyFy – 10pm
Arnie goes all sci-fi in a killer gameshow.
2 Fast 2 Furious – RTÉ 2 – 10pm
RTÉ 2 (Fast 2 Furious) really is going for it tonight. Is there a greater bromance in cinema history than that of Paul Walker and Tyrese Gibson?
21 Jump Street – Comedy Central – 10pm
Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, no strangers to a great bromance themselves, update a cult cop show.
Starsky & Hutch – ITV4 – 10.30pm
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, no strangers to a great bromance themselves, update a beloved buddy cop show.
Hard Target – ITV – 11.25pm
One of John Woo’s better American efforts find Jean-Claude Van Damme tackling both a ridiculous name – Chance Boudreaux – a terrible Southern accent and a mullet as he lays the smack down on some cartoonish bounty hunters.
Monster’s Ball – RTÉ One – 11.55pm
Halle Berry again, this time in far more challenging and adult fare, resulting in Oscar gold. Billy Bob Thornton and the late, great Heath Ledger provide support in a really rather intense drama.
Safe – SyFy – 12.10am
Jason Statham finds a reason to stay alive, taking on various mobsters and corrupt lawmen in the process.
The Cabin in the Woods – Channel 4 – 12.15am
Sharp, comedic deconstruction of the horror genre and its various tropes that’s kind of a perfect midnight movie.
Candyman – Film 4 – 1.30am
But if you’d prefer a deeply unsettling classic horror, Candyman remains terrifying.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
