Everybody remain calm. None of these things will actually happen… we think.
It’s fair to say that, as Sunday evening rolls around once more, the nation will collectively hold its breath as Love/Hate hits our screens and everybody speculates as to which car brand Detective Ciaran Madden will slag off, how many naggins Siobhan will have hidden in her handbag, and who may or may not be sent to sleep with the fishy fishes cats.
With that in mind, JP from the The Ray Foley Show on 98FM has come up with ten of the most unlikely plot twists that we (probably) won’t be seeing in future weeks. Think of these as your Top 10 non-spoiler spoilers.
Trust us, it makes sense. Sort of.
10. Nidge realises the cops/Patrick the peaceful pipe-bomber/his wife Trish have put a tracking device on his car, so he decides to travel to and from gangland shootings on an alternative mode of transport… the Dublin Bike.
Image via Irish Times.
Much safer, much easier to spot troublesome trackers and, most importantly, much more environmentally-friendly. Good man Nidge.
9. Series 5 ends with a Buffy-style musical episode, with Trish and Nidge duetting on a cover of the Elton John and KeeKee Dee classic, ‘Don’t Go Breakin’ My (Bleedin’) Heart.’
It turns out Nidgey has a voice of an angel. A murderous, psychotic, lady-of-the-night-lovin’ angel.
8. Fran goes on a killing spree after receiving a 3-pack of blank Maxell tapes off Elmo for Christmas.
WHAT IS THIS ELMO? 1998!? Get your sh*t together.
Image via Wilko.
7. Nidge’s crew and his traveller enemies hijack two Viking Splash Dublin tour buses and chase each other through the streets, ending in a shootout outside Rick’s Burgers on Dame Street.
Mmmmmmm, gun battles and yum burgers. Can’t beat it.
6. The building of a local youth club stops all the criminal activity immediately. You see, they really did just need somewhere to go in order to do something constructive with their time.
Anyone for ping pong?
5. Tommy goes on the run after being outed on a Her.ie list of the top 10 hottest ex-gangsters.
He’s so goddamn dreamy.
*JOE swoons and spills fizzy orange everywhere*
4. The Coronation Street-style novelty live episode is ruined by persistent charity muggers trying to sell scratchcards to Elmo.
3. Fran quits crime when Smiles Dental Clinics sign him up as their brand ambassador.
Image via RTÉ.
2. Detective Moynihan recruits super sleuths Jessica Fletcher, Father Dowling, and Ghost Whisperer Jennifer Love Hewitt to finally bring Nidge to justice.
Jessica knows the craic. She’s a pro.
1. In a “Who Shot JR?” style twist, it turns out that Season Four’s Cleo The Cat was never actually shot by anyone and dreamt up the entire show while in the shower.
Silly cat.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
