For ten years, there's been a lingering cloud over the galaxy; no light, no dark, just existential grey.
But there's been an uprising within the Resistance - it's time for retaliation against the First Order.
To call
Star Wars: The Force Awakens a much-anticipated movie is quite the understatement - the sci-fi saga is on course to obliterate box office records.
It's already banked squillions in ticket pre-sales, although seeing as Disney plunked down $4 billion to buy the rights to George Lucas’ brainchild, this film needs to exceed all financial expectations.
If I was dubious at first when I arrived at the first screening on Tuesday, after seeing it in all its glory, I don't think it will have a problem at all.
JOE was at one of the first ever screenings of the seventh film in the franchise and we were obviously bubbling with excitement along with a cinema full of critics and journalists.
What ensued were 135 minutes of unbridled childlike joy.
When my Dad introduced me to Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia 19 years ago, my eyes were transfixed, mouth was open and hot chocolate spilled over the floor from not paying attention to the tilting mug.
I had the same reaction, except this time it was beer.
Here are a few highlights of the space saga, with a few very mild spoilers.
You've been warned...
Nostalgia
Likely to be a new pub quiz question for months to come; How many copycat scenes are there in the new Star Wars film?
Literally identical shots litter the blockbuster. Some may protest there are too much, but I'm firmly in the camp that after such a lengthy void and with George Lucas passing the baton to J.J Abrams, it's a fitting homage.
For those who believe it's overkill, they can be rest assured Abrams isn't planning such retrospect with the next two instalments.
"Chewie, we're home!"
There were gasps of breath when Han Solo and Chewbacca emerged from the Millennium Falcon. After years touring the galaxy as a duo, the bond between Han (Harrison Ford) and his hairy pal (Peter Mayhew) is stronger than ever.
Sharing weapons and shielding each other from flesh-burning laser guns, passing on legend and warlord wisdom to the new guard (Rey and Finn), it's a partnership that will be forever cemented in fans' hearts.
The Force of Luke Skywalker
There have been plenty of conspiracy theories asking the whereabouts of the greatest Jedi; some ideas, of course, more ludicrous than others.
The once Tatooine farmboy was exiled from the promo posters in a bid to keep his whereabouts unknown. The entire galaxy is looking for him so his Force is strong.
A certain droid has even powered down since he's gone missing... when Skywalker finally does emerge from his hood, it's worth waiting for.
Comedy
Quips, one-liners, the script has plenty:
"This is what the resistance looks like" - Finn to Han.
"You hurt Chewie, you deal with me" - Han.
"
Women always find out the truth, always!" - Han.
"That's not how the Force works" - Han to Finn.
"I like that Wookie" - Maz Kanata to Han.
And before anyone protests, these mean nothing without context and delivery, which has clearly been agonised over since early cast readings of the script in LA.
Trust us, seven to seventy-year-olds will laugh.
Who runs the galaxy - girls!
Finally, Star Wars has passed the
Bechdel test.
Rey, Rey, Rey and more Rey - and General Leia. I thank all the stars in the galaxy for Rey (Daisy Ridley), who kicks so much butt, if she had a best pal from another franchise, it would be Katniss Everdeen.
A "scumbag scavenger" who scours Jakku for scrap metal and pawns for food until her destiny finds her palm. Rey breaks the mould of the lack of female representation in the franchise, giving birth to a new hero for the younger generation.
After a while I began to wonder if Leia was also doing a Luke Skywalker... but, when she does finally emerge, you realise how much has changed for the former Princess, played by the wondrous Carrie Fisher.
Hair change aside, (I know!) she's now the General of the Rebels.
Whereas her dialogue used to be about men or dependent on men, she's now calling the shots. The infamous slave gold bikini well and truly resigned to the back of the cupboard. Hooray!
Finn (John Boyega)
There's a glitch in the system!
Finn
(John Boyega - who JOE.co.uk interviewed earlier this year), a stormtrooper who goes rogue, is one of the best plot lines in the entire franchise.
Once he escapes the First Order, he's quick to tell everyone he's with "The Resistance!", something which fast becomes reality.
With his new best friends Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) and Rey, how could he possibly fail?
Finn's journey is one of twists and turns, lightsaber clashes and loop the loops in epic spaceship sequences - the film wouldn't be the same without him.
Robots reunited
Our favourite droids are back and a certain spherical system has a starring role.
BB-8, C-3PO, R2D2 are loyal to their masters; C-3P0 assists General Leia (popping up just at the right time between Leia and Han...), BB-8 forms bonds with the young guns Rey and Finn, while R2D2 powers down without the presence of a certain legend, maintaining their roles as a trio of extra special and valuable droids.
I could go on. There's also the First Order’s Starkiller Base, planet-killing weapons, an army of TIE fighters, re-designed stormtroopers.
Not to mention Kylo Ren (played by the amazing Adam Driver) and his spitting red lightsaber - but I'm not very happy with him... you'll just have to wait and see why.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens is an epic must-watch - book your tickets now to go see it. And then go see it again. And again. And again. And... you get the idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYA3WNdO4Bw
Clip via Star Wars UK
Star Wars: The Force Awakens is released in Irish cinemas on December 17
After a while I began to wonder if Leia was also doing a Luke Skywalker... but, when she does finally emerge, you realise how much has changed for the former Princess, played by the wondrous Carrie Fisher.
Hair change aside, (I know!) she's now the General of the Rebels.
Whereas her dialogue used to be about men or dependent on men, she's now calling the shots. The infamous slave gold bikini well and truly resigned to the back of the cupboard. Hooray!
