Goonies never say die.
Certain films are so beloved by a generation of film fans that they take on a cult-status that inspires a devotion and love unlike any other.
The Goonies is probably the best example of this because for me, the adventures of Mikey, Chunk, Mouth and co are as much a part of my childhood as my own family.
I loved The Goonies as soon as I saw that thrilling opening sequence and I watched the film so much that I actually broke the family’s VHS copy – I bought two DVD copies when it was released to avoid this ever happening again.
Here are a few reasons why it’s such a superb film.
The opening titles
The cliché says that you should never work with children but Richard Donner’s brilliant opening montage manages to introduce the characters, define their quirks – notice how Chunk’s eating, Data is inventing and Mouth is annoying his dad – while the villainous Fratellis escape from jail.
The Truffle Shuffle
This scene has taken on a life of its own…and it deserves to. His face is just priceless.
The worst repair job to any statue
We all have a friend like Chunk that seems to break anything they touch but what makes this better is that he manages to glue the penis back on, but upside-down.
Brand is right when he says “if God made it that way, you’d all be pissing in your faces!”
Chunk’s lies
This entire passage of text is amazing.
Chunk: It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brand: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather’s pizza, right?
Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.
The perfect kiss
Mouth meets Rosalita
Until the DVD came out, I always wondered what the hell Mouth actually said to this poor woman to frighten the bejesus out of her. All I understood was drugs and sex.
This is twisted comedic genius at its very best because Corey Feldman’s ‘sucking up’ to Mikey’s mam here is so perfect. The poor woman.
The best insult in any nostalgic ’80s film
This epic reply
Is it weird that I still say this if someone that’s serving me is rude?
A perfect plan
This heart-warming scene
Martin Sheen = President Kennedy
How much torment can one boy take?
The look on his face as the eldest Fratelli starts singing here is priceless. This moment though is soon to be topped by the realisation that he’s lying next to a dead guy. You just can’t do this in kids films anymore, shame.
Ruth, Ruth. Baby Ruth?
Sounds like Kong.
Chunk’s confession
We’re going very Chunk heavy here but this still cracks me up.
Slick shoes
Data’s best invention by a mile. You had to feel for the guy who slipped and landed in the most uncomfortable way possible.
The best slide ever
This slide almost made the near-death experiences seem worthwhile.
Hey You Guys!
Endlessly quoted but never bettered.
The ending
There has never been as much focus on one hand before…apart from Maradona.
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